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A futuristic game of heads or tales

38 Predictions That Came Through in the Clutch or Whiffed Completely

June 25, 2024

Making predictions is fun because whether it’s minutes from now or centuries from now, we’re going to find out if we were right or wrong. Well, we might not be around centuries from now, but we’ll ask our descendants to find out for us.

So here it goes: On Thursday, June 3, 2324, the sun will come up purple.

Now we play the waiting game.

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

38

Audiences don't want to hear actors. A WARNER BRO. CRACKED.COM H.M. Warner thought silent movies were the height of cinema: Who the hell wants to hear actors talk? — Source

37

Smoking's probably fine. NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE CRACKED.COM W.C. Heuper, director of the institute's Environmental Cancer Section, was pretty darn sure that, if smoking played a part in lung cancer, it seems to be a minor one. — Source

36

Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan won't carry this franchise. CHICAGO BULLS GM LLS CRACKED.COM General Manager Rod Thorn was almost apologetic that there was no one taller he could have drafted: What can you do? Jordan isn't going to turn this franchise around. — Source

35

Terrible Predictions

TV won't last 6 months. 20TH CENTURY FOX CRACKED.COM Studio exec Darryl Zanuck predicted that people will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night. Staring at that box is the only thing that gets us through the day! — Source

34

50 AVAILABILITY 5 OF MEAT SEPTEMBER 1913 GRACKED.CON If current trends continue, Americans in the 21st century will live as the low-caste Chinaman does now, on rice and vegetables, and like him, slothful creatures, anaemic and without initiative. -Gustav Bischoff, Meat Packers Association — Source

33

50 MOVING 5 HOUSES JULY 1971 CRACKED.COM The house of the future would have no roots Gone would be water pipes, drains, power lines; the autonomous home could therefore move, or be moved, to anywhere on earth. -Arthur C. Clarke. Не wasn't predicting RVs, which already existed. — Source

32

50 THE ALPHABET 5 DECEMBER 1900 no D CRACKED COM There will be no C, x or Q in our every-day alphabet. They will be abandoned because unnecessary. -John Watkins, from the Saturday Evening Post. Yes, we'd develop informal spelling but wouldn't drop any letters entirely, bc that idea sux, dafuq would be the point in doing that? — Source

31

HOME 50 5 APPLIANCES 1955 CRACKED.COM Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality within ten years. -Alex Lewyt, vacuum company president. We have nuclear power today, but it makes a lot more sense to produce it centrally than to stick a reactor in every appliance. — Source

30

ALBERT BROOKS PREDICTED REALITY me TV IN 1979. FILMING THANKSGIVING His mockumentary film Real Life featured an obnoxious, intrusive camera crew trailing a family and deliberately stirring up conflict. It was meant as a sendup of a PBS documentary series, but with the twist that most of the drama was generated artificially by the producer. CRACKED.COM http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/real-life-1979 — Source

29

GRAGKED.COM two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve about Mars...- Jonathan Swift, describing the Red Planet's moons in his 1726 novel Gulliver's Travels. Phobos and Deimos, discovered in 1877 by Asaph Hall — Source

28

A 1995 student PSA featuring 5th graders from Helena, MT not only correctly proclaimed By the time we're in college, the Internet will be our telephone, television, shopping center, and workplace. ка The Greatest Thing in Lin ADA It also hinted at the Internet's future infatuation with felines. I even found a recipe for cat food cupcakes! CRACKED.COM — Source

27

The Treaty of Versailles

CRACKED COM When the Treaty of Versailles was signed, officially ending the First World War in 1919, French Marshal Ferdinand Foch responded... THIS IS NOT PEACE. IT IS AN ARMISTICE FOR TWENTY YEARS. The Second World War started in 1939. — Source

26

House of Cards 2017's Grenfell Tower tragedy The similarities between the deadly fire at Grenfell Tower and a 1993 episode of the BBC's series are chilling, with both scenarios featuring a gas explosion in a run-down tower block, and the UK government facing accusations of neglect. CRACKED — Source

25

WARREN ZEVON'S FACTORY ENDS WITH KICKIN' ASBESTOS IN THE FACTORY/ BREATHIN' THAT PLASTIC IN THE FACTORY. ZEVON DIED OF LUNG CANCER FROM INHALING ASBESTOS The weird part is that Zevon never worked in a factory in his life. не wrote the lyrics totally coincidentally, inhaled the asbestos from some unknown source, and was diagnosed years later. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

ROBERT HEINLEIN'S 1961 NOVEL STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND PREDICTED 3-D COMPUTERS IN EVERY HOME. IT ALSO CAME UP WITH A MUCH MORE SPECIFIC PREDICTION: SCREENSAVERS. A stereovision tank disguised as an aquarium; he switched it on, guppies and tetras gave way to the face of the well-known Winchell. Fish in an aquarium would become one of the most popular screensavers out there. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

A FOOTBALL POSTER IN POLTERGEIST SAYS 1988 SUPER BOWL XXII. 1988 SUPERSON XXII WHICH IS WEIRD, BECAUSE THE FILM WAS RELEASED IN 1982. In 1988, on the day of super Bowl XXII, Poltergeist actress Heather O'Rourke happened to be living in san Diego, the city where the game was taking place. she suddenly became violently ill and died the following afternoon. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

A FORGETTABLE 1995 HBO MOVIE CALLED ABOVE SUSPICION FEATURED CHRISTOPHER REEVE. ...AS AN OFFICER CONFINED TO A WHEELCHAIR. This film aired May 25. May 27 was the day of Reeve's horseback riding accident. The movie where he plays a paraplegic was released just two days before he landed in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. CRACKED.COM — Source

21

THE 2005 SHOW EXTRAS FEATURES A FICTIONAL HOLOCAUST FILM STARRING KATE WINSLET. SAYS WINSLET, CYNICALLY: DO A FILM ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST, YOU'RE GUARANTEED AN OSCAR. Fast-forward to 2008, and Kate winslet has a leading role in The Reader, a Holocaust film. Despite getting mixed reviews, it scores winslet an Oscar for Best Actress. CRACKED.COM — Source

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20

ON SEINFELD, JERRY AND ELAINE EAT NONFAT FROZEN YOGURT BUT GAIN WEIGHT. THEY DEDUCE THAT THE YOGURT ISN'T AS NONFAT AS IT CLAIMS. just a few months later, New York Magazine published a study of various desserts that claimed to be diet or nonfat. The frozen yogurt industry turned out to be just as dishonest as seinfeld jokingly portrayed. CRACKED.COM — Source

19

The World Trade Center towers were destroyed... ...in Super Mario Brothers, 8 years before 9/11. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

IN 1987, APPLE RELEASED A PROMO VIDEO IMAGINING FUTURE TECHNOLOGY. CHOCO IT SHOWED A TABLET COMPUTER WITH VIDEO CHAT AND VOICE-BASED SEARCH. The scene was supposed to take place on september 16, 2011. The ipad ended up coming out in 2010. The first Apple tablet with a voice- based assistant (siri) came out september 2011, within two weeks of the date the video predicted. CRACKED.COM — Source

17

AIRPLANET THE SEQUEL AM SCANNERS THAT GENERATE NAKED IMAGES OF PASSENGERS? SURELY YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. CRACKED.COM — Source

16

AT THE SAME TIME ENEMY WARSHIPS FIRE ON PEARL HARBOR, HAWAII.. NATIONAL COMICS #18 DEPICTED UNCLE SAM DEFENDING PEARL HARBOR IT WAS RELEASED IN 10° NOVEMBER, 1941. AMERICA'S HERO UNCLE SAM ON DECEMBER 7, 1941, JAPAN ATTACKED PEARL HARBOR CRACKED.CON — Source

15

IN 2003, CHAPPELLE'S SHOWFEATURED A SKETCH TITLED TRADING SPOUSES, PLAYING OFF THE REALITY SHOW TRADING SPACES. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A PARODY. It's a standard comedy formula: take one element of the real thing, Trading Spouses and exaggerate it to ludicrous ends. But a year after the sketch aired, FOX created a show with that exact premise, and it was Meet your new mommu indeed called Trading spouses. CRACKED.COM — Source

14

The Stock Market

Nothing bad will happen to the stock market. IRVING FISHER CRACKED.COM 3 days before the stock market crash, an American economist declared that stocks had reached a permanently high plateau. — Source

13

The Beatles have no future in showbiz. DECCA RECORDS CRACKED.COM An impressively shortsighted record exec expounded that four-piece groups with guitars, particularly, are finished. — Source

12

The telephone has no legs. WESTERN UNION CRACKED COM In an internal memo, employees were told that the telephone shouldn't be seriously considered as a means of communication. — Source

11

Brick-and-mortar stores have nothing to worry about. TIME MAGAZINE CRACKED.COM Their 1966 prediction that remote shopping will flop was based on the observation that women like to get out of the house. — Source

10

50 REMOTE 5 DIAGNOSES 1905 CRACKED.COM The Popular Mechanics version of medical video conferencing included an electric handshake that touches you from afar. That didn't come to pass. And if it did, you know we'd have it shaking body parts for decidedly non-medical purposes. — Source

9

50 THE ALPHABET 5 DECEMBER 1900 no D CRACKED COM There will be no C, x or Q in our every-day alphabet. They will be abandoned because unnecessary. -John Watkins, from the Saturday Evening Post. Yes, we'd develop informal spelling but wouldn't drop any letters entirely, bc that idea sux, dafuq would be the point in doing that? — Source

8

FEMALE 50 in EVOLUTION DECEMBER 1950 1950 , 2000 O 6 GRACKED.com The woman of the year 2000 will be will be more than six feet tall, wear a size 11 shoe, have shoulders like a wrestler and muscles like a truck driver. -Associated Press. True for some women. AP also predicted, She may even be president. — Source

7

50 FASHION in FEBRUARY 1939 CRACKED.C COM The man of the next century will revolt against shaving... His hat will be an antenna. His socks, disposable. His belt will hold all his pockets ever did. -Vogue. They were right about beards, at least. — Source

6

50 DEMOCRACY 5 1936 CRACKED.COM Democracy will be dead by 1950. -John Langdon-Davies, British journalist. Yeah, it got hairy there for a bit, but they haven't quite managed to get rid of democracy so far. — Source

5

Rail commuters will suffocate. DIONYSIUS LARDNER Manaroil CRACKED.COM The professor at University College, London, was convinced that high-speed trains were simply impossible, because the passengers, unable to breath, would die of asphyxia. — Source

4

Terrible Predictions

There's simply no demand for YouTube. YOUTUBE COFOUNDER CRACKED COM Cofounder and СТО Steve Chen once said there's just not that many videos I want to watch. Strange that a man with zero foresight could accidentally invent a perpetual motion propaganda machine! — Source

3

Tired: gold. Wired: steel. THOMAS EDISON SABRIATIC CRACKED.COM Edison was convinced we were on the verge of dispensing precious metals like a Taco Bell soda fountain. And what would we do with the power of alchemy? Devalue gold and turn all our furniture into cold, hard steel. — Source

2

We'll go full Flintstones. To Find Some Use For Every Wild Animal Man's Steadily Increasing Need for More Space Will Eventually Force Untamed Beasts to Pay Their Way in the Scheme of Things or Join the Species Already Extinct The Cash - - The breading .. - late president - been AND HOME - - NA and S - - - - - - - CRACKED.COM - It was once commonly thought that we'd train endangered species to perform menial tasks as we continued to encroach into their territory. We've opted to just indiscriminately kill them instead! — Source

1

We'll all get tired of the internet. ROBERT METCALFE CRACKED.COM The guy who co-invented Ethernet predicted the internet would go supernova, and in 1996 will catastrophically collapse. — Source

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