20 of the Most WTF Video Game Side Quests

‘You start tripping and have to shoot space aliens’
20 of the Most WTF Video Game Side Quests

Remember back in the old days, when video games were simple? “Shoot the duck.” “Hit the ping-pong ball.” “Leap over the man-eating piranha plant that lives in a pipe for some reason.” 

What’s that? You don’t remember any of that? Ugh. Kids these days. What are you even doing, lowering yourself to “reading” “words”? Don’t you have a TikTok to dance on?

Sorry. We don’t know where we went just now. The point is, video games used to involve a clear, uncomplicated objective, but now, they can tear you in a million different directions. Developers can make you do whatever they want, locking you inside a fascist prison of your own dopamine. So when user ZeusTheMooose asked r/AskReddit, “What is the strangest side quest in a video game?” tales of ancillary bullshit abounded.

sansordhinn 7y ago Earthbound is cheating, and there's many to choose from, but my favorite always was the two sesames. You've just hitchhiked with a jazz band, whose music drove away the ghosts that blocked the tunnel. You're stranded in the desert. You can explore it, but it's hard; you may end up with sunstroke, or... homesickness. At least there's a pharmacy by the roadside; they sell wet towels for sunstroke, and have a phone to call mom. The wide, harsh desert has a bunch of stuff to do, and between enemies and npc's it takes a really good eye
kitjen 7y ago In GTA V you start tripping and have to shoot space aliens.
AlbertFischerlll 7y ago Horizon Zero Dawn, where you have to help some weirdo get high off of robot fluids.
Chippy03 7y ago In Dragon Age 2 trying to get the romantically incompetent Aveline on a date.
greenmask 7y ago Metal Gear Solid Peace Walker has a quest where you warp to the Monster Hunter universe and slay a Wyvern.
imaloony8 7y ago Shoot this guy in the Face from Borderlands 2. I'll let you take a wild guess what you have to do.
Fergburger5 7y ago Red dead redemption, where you have to rescue the girlfriend of a guy and when you bring her there he's overjoyed to go fuck the horse you actually rode in on.
redboy678 7y ago In The Witcher 3: Blood and Wine the Equine Phantoms quest Geralt drinks a potion and is able to understand his horse.
Crowette 7y ago Teaching a shy girl how to be a good dominatrix in Yakuza 0. You accomplish this by role- playing a masochistic pervert in front of a bunch of kids at a playground.
humancartograph 7y ago In Red Dead Redemption's Undead Nightmare DLC, you hunt down a bunch of sasquatches, then meet up with the last one who tells you that someone has been killing his entire family and now he's alone and basically depressed/suicidal. Не tells you to kill him and you can do that or let him live in that state forever. What the hell?!
Celdamaged 7y ago In Far Cry 3 you find a pretty boarded up and deserted shack, but can hear a woman crying inside. When you walk in its a huge mess and she's in the very back corner. You talk with her and she mentions how she and her husband were just in a plane crash and he is still stranded on the beach. Naturally, you run down to the beach to go be a hero but when you arrive, the plane is covered in moss, vines, and rust and there's skeletons all around. After walking back to the shack
SirRosstopher 7y ago The one in Oblivion where a guy is convinced that there is a conspiracy of people in the city spying on him. Depending on how you play it you can convince him that he is in fact being spied on, at which point he goes on a murder spree about town with a battle-axe. In one of my playthroughs I told him that only one of the suspects were actually spying on him, so he snuck into his house at night and axe murdered the guy. Then he decided he was tired so went to sleep on
Xyronian 7y ago In xenoblade chronicles there's a quest where you have to put a stop to a drug ring. Not hugely strange for a side quest. But what makes it really weird is that the drug ring is run by a species that's basically a ball of fur with rabbit ears. And their drug dealing is played about a straight as it can be in a T rated game.
redditmortis 7y ago Lego Marvel Superheroes - there's a side quest where you have to get a carrot for a guy who is making soup for the homeless. You have to pursue a guy who has said carrot and beat him and his goons up. In all LEGO games, beating people up means killing them. After I completed that quest I realized that I had killed a man for a carrot.
mariah_a 7y ago In Silent Hill 3 you can go to a certain cesspit in a sewer and throw a rusty pipe into it. A magical fairy will then appear and ask you if you threw in a gold pipe, a silver pipe or the rusty pipe. If you answer gold she gives you it and that's a weapon for the game. Answer silver and she gives you the silver, etc. Answer rusty and she commends you on your honesty and gives you all 3. All of them have the same damage. That's it. No bearing on the story. It's
yourfriendfromwork 7y ago So PS2, True Crime: Streets of La. There is a mission where you have to get information from a chick, she won't give up the info unless you make her orgasm... and she likes fast cars. I think I showed up to the mission in like an SUV, I had to mute that shit because it was taking me forever. I was legit sweating bullets, my mom would have taken my system had she heard that. It was the worst.
gratedCheeseOnToast . 7y ago My wife was laughing her arse off at me when I had to do yoga in GTA V. And I couldn't do it right, and had to spend ages trying to do yoga poses when I should have been driving flat out and shooting people.
DeedThelnky 7y ago There's one in Saints Row 3 where you have to drive a tiger around in the passenger seat of a convertible and there's a little bar that shows you how angry the tiger is and of you drive like an asshole the tiger gets mad and eats you. Also there's a gimp chariot race.
MACARONI_BALLSACK 7y ago In Dark Souls 3, you can marry someone. Neat. You finally get some sort of happiness after neverending suffering and dying. ...only in the Dark Souls world, marriage is much different. You arrive in the church to find your bride laying on the ground with a blanket covering their face, and you drive a sword through their head. Congratulations! You're now married.
SinusMonstrum 7y ago THE FUCKING CUP NOODLE QUEST IN FINAL FANTASY 15

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

VIRAL ON CRACKED

A WEEKLY
NEWSLETTER OF
JOKES + TRIVIA

Forgot Password?