15 Things That Aren’t As Permanent As You Thought They Were

While most respectable tattoo artists will refuse to do a hand tattoo on someone that isn’t already heavily inked, a lot of palm tattoos just kind of disappear — the skin on your palms regrows quickly and ink can basically vanish.

The idea of a tattoo being on you forever is only half right — you can cover it up, then cover that up, then go on top of that, and so on. Now, tattooing over large blacked-out areas might be difficult, but it is doable.

Immigration is a tricky thing — you can move somewhere, do everything you’re supposed to, get told you’re allowed to stay forever and still have it all whipped away. Green-card holders are called permanent residents, but spend too long overseas and you lose it.

Sharpies claim to be permanent, but can be removed from most surfaces without too much trouble — rubbing alcohol or nail polish remover will usually do the trick. 

In hairstyling, a perm is short for “permanent wave,” the idea being that you get it done and then, well, that’s what you look like. However, hair grows. You can book yourself for quarterly perms, which would be nonsensical if they were actually fucking permanent.

“Permanent jewelry” is a relatively new thing — bracelets and necklaces that are welded shut to make them non-removable, whether for romantic or practical purposes. Realistically, though, they’re as permanent as your access to a bolt-cutter. 

Medical micropigmentation and permanent makeup sound classier than “tattooed eyebrows,” but if it uses the same equipment as a tattoo and goes through the same healing process as a tattoo, it’s a tattoo. 

The U.S., U.K., France, Russia and China are permanent members of the United Nations Security Council… or are they? There are arguments that, given it was the USSR, not the Russian Federation, that was granted the place, things could change…

All the “permanent” in “permanent select committee” means is that it doesn’t change from one government to the next. The Permanent Select Committee on Aging was terminated in 1993. Permanent, an old person’s ass.

Object permanence, the name given to understanding that things continue to exist when we can’t see them, is an essential part of cognitive development, although there is disagreement about when it happens. Cut your brain off, though, and it’s lost. 

Permanent secretary is the name given to the most senior member of every branch of the U.K. civil service. They can be fired, resign or retire, though, so they’re about as permanent as a whiteboard marker. 

Nothing humanity has ever built or achieved will last forever. The universe was here long before us and will be here long after us. In the grand scheme of things, we barely happened, a brief flicker of activity on an insignificant rock.

Even our place at the top of the food chain is but temporary, as our seeming yearning for self-destruction will bring our reign to an end. 

Statues fall, fortunes dwindle, kings decompose. Shelley’s famous poem Ozymandias describes an ancient forgotten ruler, and one day Shelley himself will be entirely forgotten, as shall we all. Sleep well! 

Hey, great news! There is no medical evidence that your face will stay like that if the wind changes!