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34 Childish Jagweeds Who Were Given Way Too Much Money

These grown-ass toddlers have millions of dollars (and zero supervision)

34 Childish Jagweeds Who Were Given Way Too Much Money

October 15, 2023

We’re not sure if this is a Tom Hanks in Big situation here, but all signs do point to children in adult bodies (and with adult money). Heck, it’s a lot more money than most adults have, so yeah — we understand the temptation to fritter it away on slothful hedonism, while screaming at anyone who dares to oppose you. Just maybe for the sake of human decency, lock it up!

Take note, people on this list!

34

The 1% don't show off on Instagram - they use the app Rich Kids. Rich Kids is an Instagram clone with a twist: you can post photos only if you pay the monthly membership fee of €1,000 (about $1,160), but anyone can see them. No food porn, haul videos, or other Instagram staples get posted. It's just wall-to-wall ridiculously expensive products and experiences. CRACKED.COM — Source

33

Uber-rich mothers hire professional organizers CRACKED.COM to pack their kid's trunks for summer camp. MA تحت LURE LAU RE Energizer THIS are A professional organizer charges about $250 per hour - for the 4 or so hours that one trunk takes, that's $1,000. Professional organizers, who do all kinds of tidying and organizing work for high-income clients, have their own 4,000-member-strong national association. — Source

32

CRACKED BEING ASKED TO SIT IN THE BACK SEAT Hans Berglund, the CEO of an organic fertilizer company, was fired in 2020 after he was recorded saying a racial slur to an African American Uber driver who was a student. Why? The driver asked him to sit in the back seat. — Source

31

CRACKED NOT GETTING THE TABLE THEY WANTED Andrea Benitez, the daughter of a Mexican consumer protection bigwig, had a huge meltdown in a restaurant in 2013. She was angry because they wouldn't give her the table she wanted, so her dad ended up closing the restaurant for no good reason. — Source

30

Rich people requests ANOTHER 747 PLEASE A company modified several 747s for one customer, who purchased a new one because his spiritual advisor told him that one of his current planes was bad luck. Не let his wife use the bad luck plane for her personal travel. CRACKED — Source

29

Rich people requests 30 CANDLES? NO, 30 CAKES! An Arab billionaire's son received over 30 big fancy cakes for his birthday, and just left them in the hallway outside his room. We walked by those cakes every day, waiting for instruction, and after two weeks, we were told to throw them away. CRACKED — Source

28

Rich people requests BLENDED WAGYU BEEF Michael Harwood, private chef to celebrities and aristocrats, said that a millionaire client in Monaco ordered his wagyu beef to be blended so he wouldn't have to face the taxing task of chewing his food. CRACKED — Source

27

Rich people requests JOE JONAS' PUPPY OBSESSION Не revealed that requesting 12 puppies in his dressing room has been on his rider for a while, but this is the one thing doesn't always get. Не said that sometimes, A city will show up with 12 puppies. CRACKED — Source

26

Rich people requests HARR and the Philosopher's hamber POTTER of Secren th POTTER PRE-ORDERS BPI BICION IF п-воном A wealthy guest once asked Four Seasons head concierge Javier Loureiro to get the newest Harry Potter book for her two children. The book wasn't even published yet, but he somehow managed to get a copy for each kid. CRACKED — Source

25

Rich people requests A GLOBAL YACHT MEASURING CONTEST An Australian billionaire ordered his yacht to be driven from Sydney to NYC, and have lunch for 50 people ready. None of the food was eaten, he was just having a rich dude party in a building overlooking the harbor, and just wanted to say, That's my boat. CRACKED — Source

24

King Charles

Rich people requests THE MANNEQUIN KING A former Royal Family staffer said that King Charles won't undress himself. Не has an entourage undress and redress him five times per day. One member irons his shoelaces. CRACKED — Source

23

CRACKED OVER $100 MILLION GAMBLED AWAY One businessman lost more than $100 million in 2007 at a chain of casinos in Las Vegas. It's said that he was given alcohol and drugs to keep him gambling. — Source

22

CRACKED $150 MILLION SPENT ON RICH-GUY KNICKKNACKS Nicolas Cage has splurged on a private island, a dinosaur skull, 15 homes, two castles, a huge burial tomb, shrunken рудту heads, a Lamborghini, a pet octopus, and the first Superman comic - all adding up to a whopping $150 million. — Source

21

CRACKED IDE Tyres GOING FROM £10 MILLION TO DELIVERING COAL A 19-year-old garbage collector from the UK won about £10 million on the lottery in 2002. But he spent it all on a wild lifestyle and, 10 years later, was completely broke. Не then started working seven days a week delivering coal and firewood. — Source

20

CRACKED IKE PERLMUTTER, former head of Marvel Entertainment, stopped Black Widow merchandise from being made in 2015 because he asserted it wouldn't be popular with kids, as she's a girl superhero. — Source

19

Ryanair

CRACKED YANA The best thing you can do with environmentalists is shoot them. MICHAEL O'LEARY, Ryanair CEO — Source

18

CRACKED It's your moniker... It's unfair. HOWARD SCHULTZ, former Starbucks CEO and billionaire, about being called a billionaire. Words hurt! — Source

17

Gene Simmons received a lifetime ban from Fox News for his erratic behavior. NO SIMMONS ALLOWED KISS When The Demon appeared on Fox and Friends to promote his book (On Power), things got off on a weird foot when he leapt out of his seat to ham it up on the weather report. Then, once off the air, things devolved rapidly. Не barged into a staff meeting and yelled, Hey chicks, sue me! while pulling open his shirt and exposing his torso. Не then bopped random employees on the head with his book as he left. CRACKED.COM — Source

16

Madonna got falling-down drunk on stage. During a concert in Australia, Madge appeared to get good and liquored up onstage while dressed up as some sort of erotic Victorian rodeo clown. In between swigs of hootch, she moaned things like: Someone please take care of me, please, Who is going to take care of me? and Please, someone f--k me. She then attempted to ride, then fell off, a tiny children's tricycle. CRACKED.COM — Source

15

Alec Baldwin lost his mind when airline staff asked him to quit playing Words With Friends on his phone. TI 14:08 U DL SAMSUNG 213 IL 235 5 EN - Happy BROID - . O TL E CI с A H - - ن Onzoz M 1 - - POURS - HARDO - - 1 . WH с 6 O AW . - M BOT by . NO GED WOP - / с - DOUEE PLAY After the surliest and puffiest Baldwin brother boarded an American Airlines flight, he refused to turn off his cell phone after multiple requests by — Source

14

Bob Parsons went elephant hunting in Zimbabwe. The GoDaddy CEO shared the footage publicly. In the video, Bob and his guides track down a herd of elephants and shoot one. Then the video cuts to dozens of villagers ripping the elephant apart for its meat. Hell's Bells by AC/DC plays in the background. CRACKED.COM — Source

13

John Mackey made a fake identity to talk himself up. The Whole Foods CEO made a message poster named Rahodeb, who posted hundreds of times praising his company and slamming his competition. Не also took to flattering himself in the third person, praising his cute haircut and declaring, Mackey CRACKEDARKS like a model for Brooks Brothers. — Source

12

Russell Crowe

Russell Crowe unloaded on an airline because they didn't let him take hoverboards. When Virgin Australia didn't let him and his kids on the plane with the boards, he angrily tweeted, Kids and I offloaded. Goodbye Virgin. Never again. CRACKED.COM — Source

11

Reese Witherspoon

When Reese Witherspoon got arrested, she asked the cop if he knew who she was. When her husband was arrested for drunk driving, she got out and asked Do you know my name? After making a scene, she got arrested too, for disorderly conduct. CRACKED.COM — Source

10

Green Day's Billie Joe Armstrong had a total meltdown on stage at a festival. When the band's time was about to end, he cried, I've been around since 19-f--ing-88! And you're gonna give me one minute? I'm not f---ing Justin Bieber, you mother---er! CRACKED.COM — Source

9

Orson Welles

A frozen peas commercial kind of drove Orson Welles into a total meltdown. Не was reading an ad for Findus, a Swedish frozen food company, and it just became too much for him. By the end, he was saying No money is worth this S**t. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

Kanye

Just before Kanye went on SNL, he had an explosive meltdown backstage. February 13 Не had asked for a shiny floor, but they tore it down because it was too bright, so he ranted Look at that sh-, they took my f-in' stage off of 'SNL' without asking me. CRACKED.COM — Source

7

Rapper Tyler, the Creator trashed a Los Angeles club in December 2011. Apparently, he destroyed some sound equipment at L.A.'s Roxbury Theater and got his fans to start rioting - he ended up having to pay $8,000 in damages. CRACKED.COM — Source

6

Cribs of the rich and famous COVID roller coaster A man bored during lockdown recreated Disney's Matterhorn in his backyard, gaining fame from just how crazy his house is. CRACKED.COM — Source

5

Cribs of the rich and famous The Saugage CasTLe The Sausage Castle That's pornstar Mike Busey's former AirBnB, where he offered soldiers sex with one of the many bikini'd women hanging around in honor of their service. It was located in a swamp in Florida before God burned it down. CRACKED.COM — Source

4

Cribs of the rich and famous Penn Jillette's House When Jillette bought the house, it was normal-but now, in addition to things like pools and movie theaters, it has a neon clock tower. CRACKED.COM — Source

3

Cribs of the rich and famous Frank Sinatra's Trainline Like some sitcom dad, Sinatra was obsessed with trains. His home was covered with them. CRACKED.COM — Source

2

Cribs of the rich and famous Celine Dion's water park In Jupiter Island, FL there are slides, bridges, a huge pool at Celine Dion's private water park... with a full arcade. i CRACKED.COM — Source

1

Cribs of the rich and famous Michael Jackson's Neverland A ZOO. A train. An amusement park. Only for $200 million. CRACKED.COM — Source

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