20 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of September 4, 2023

Thirty-two-years-old, how does he do it?
20 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of September 4, 2023

The long holiday weekend didn’t stop our week from being filled to the brim with all sorts of news. Everything kicked off with the mass exodus of people who were stuck at Burning Man, and the drama of yet another celebrity divorce (Joe does not heart Sophie apparently). Meanwhile, by midweek, tides turned against late-night host Jimmy Fallon and Danny Masterson’s conviction was issued. 

Then, on Friday, Saved by the Bell’s Mark-Paul Gosselaar explained that some of the show’s content doesn’t look as innocent and harmless through a modern lens, describing one episode in particular where he felt like Zack Morris was pimping out Lisa Turtle. 

But just as fast as the news has been flowing, so have the funny tweets. This week’s batch include those about gamer-friendly ramen, the world’s strongest ally and a powerful motivation for staying alive.

sabr @shootmeadub-10h @NoEmmeG the only thing i hate about dying is that you cant stop anyone from touching or going through your stuff. its the only reason I'm alive today 10:19 AM.3/26/23 from Earth. 126K Views - @maulana_del_rey.8/31/23 what are some of your favorite reasons for staying alive? 2 729 2,991 149K
Shmitty WerbenJagerManJensen @Jshmitt... 3d ... Me watching Batman refuse to kill the Joker after he just blew up my apartment building CC 0:05 Leo @hoeglizzy . 5d I wanna live in Gotham City 77 10.3K 71.5K 4.5M
abby @Abbbn0rmal.3d ... How I flirt with boys in South Dakota So beautiful PAYDAN Haha thank you sir ME Do you give your horses ketamine PAYDAN When they get procedures done ME Do you have any Send a chat + 224 3,918 81.2K 5.1M
jane margolis @holeinearthh.4d ... i can already see that one font all over this with the dumbest shit you'll ever read DUDA @saintdemie . 4d WILLIAM IVEY LONG STUDIOS 44 WALKER STREET NEW ORK,New YORK STILLFRITO 91 3,397 80.5K 3.1M
Greg Miller @GameOverGreggy 2d I won't believe it until they tell me how many inches of OREG MILLER Kraven I get on launch day. Shinobi602 @shinobi602.2d Kraven looking formidable. I can't wait for #SpiderMan2 MARVEL SPIDER-MAN 2 KRAVEN C 2023 MARVEL 112 1,659 32.2K 2.5M
Monopoly Phonic® @MonopolyPhonic - 2d Obama gay? Well he does regularly make lists of his favourite songs and post them on Twitter 2 102 1,117 45.7K
rory @aurora_f2d David Cronenberg breaking his pencil checking box с selin ceren @turk1shprincess. 3d 5 hour online course to get my NY drivers license and the whole thing is just questions like this... NTSI Enhancing indiv NATIONAL TRAFFIC SAFETY INSTITUTE MODULE QUIZ 1. Driving is based on: a. Friendship b. Trust C. Romance d. Feelings
@northstardoll. 21h ... when he telling me a story about his night out and all of a sudden everyone was non-binary 56 4,413 60.2K 1.8M
Jasmyn @JasmynBeKnowing 19h One day, Puff Daddy told us to call him P. Diddy, and we listened. But after that, we were like, okay. No. 162 3,404 35.2K 3.6M
BenDavid Grabinski™ @bdgrabinski - 1d THE BIKERIDERS looks great. Wally 5 139 1,817 du 64.6K
Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy. 1d girl dinner Brandon Scott Wolf @BrandonEsWolf 1d This is what it looks like when a bottle of Advil sits in the sun for too long. AOY Advil Advi Auvil Advil Hard Advil Advil 10.1K 112K 5.5M 123
Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy 20h obsessed with the runes carved on the surface of an Oreo. what are they up to over there 81 4,744 65.8K 2.5M
@marksnotnice - 3 3h This has to violate the Geneva convention JD Dexerto @Dexerto . 6h Cup Noodles is releasing a caffeinated version to become 'gamer-friendly' GAMING CUP NOODLE Itj- -& = 4 56 672 40K
Jonty Usborne @JontyUsborne 3d ... Linkedln is so 2022 Grindr now Someone: I saw your twitter yesterday and saw that you were a product manager at Google and that is a career path I want it follow. I just moved to LA and would lov 98 3,053 41.9K 1.8M
internet hall of fame @Inter....5d ... Troy Johnson ... @_troyjohnson You: I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me. Sports broadcaster: Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle. 252 6,007 118K 4.1M
Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1 3d ... Maher: You know, Jigsaw never kills anyone in those movies. Gaffigan: Не definitely does. Maher: Watch them again, the choice to live is theirs. Gaffigan: You're saying you could choose to survive the shotgun carousel from Saw VI? *long pause* Maher: I don't count the woke traps 52 1,728 26.2K 878K
@tsrbys . 3d I know this isn't funny but I'm fucking screaming. I've worn the laces. I've worn the armband. As if he's been front line at Dunkirk AL Anything Liverpool @An.... 3d Jordan Henderson on LGBTQ: All I've ever tried to do is help. And when I've been asked for help, I've gone above and beyond to help. I've worn the laces. I've worn the armband. HENDERSON edia ain 14 122 3,571 59.8K 5.6M
ariana (*'v')** @arianab... 5d ... how my brother asks for my weed pen btw НА НА ? do you have your peso pluma Reply Copy Translate A x Speak 67 1,962 32.6K 1.4M
@Shitpost.... 5d ... ShitpostGateway There must be a better way to show these muscles Nah I think we nailed it glutes adductors hamstrings 6 gastrocnemius soleus 138 2,576 43K 1.5M
Microplastics Explorer @Diabo... 5d ... This lady on Tik Tok is currently digging a system of tunnels under her house and her replies , RAGL_ what if the ducts gets clogged? 48m Reply Kala Creator It's not a problem. I will know right away as the air quality will get bad and I will start fainting. 42m Reply 2 View 1 reply 75 974 20.1K 437K

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