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Cue the guys in trucks ranting on TikTok

32 Government Money-Squanderings That’ll Give Your Dad An Aneurysm

September 29, 2023

Unless you want your next backyard barbecue taken hostage by your dad, your uncles and all their neighborhood Saturday morning lawn manicurists, maybe keep this list out of sight. Their beefed up rantings and ravings about the government mixed with all those beefed-up patties will spell disaster for ol’ dad’s heart. Trust us, it’s absolutely the best thing for daddy dearest…

32

The F-35

Meet the F-35 Lightning II, a.k.a. the Joint Strike Fighter, the world's next generation fighter plane currently under development. Each unit is estimated to cost $109.5 million, over 2,100 times the median U.S. household income. The U.S. Department of Defense has budgeted for 2,457 of these bad boys. That's 2,457 times... well, you get the idea. CRACKED COM — Source

31

ochi.ru 2014 Russia spent $8.7 Billion to construct a highway connecting Sochi to the mountain hosting the ski and snowboard events. This is more than the total cost for the 2010 Winter Olympics. GRACKED.COM — Source

30

It took 10 years GRACKED.COM (from 1938 to 1948) for the Secrets Service to catch the ensive Mister NOT LICENSE Eight-Eighty ONE PLAY DOLLARS HUNDRE 100 I ... who had 'Wahsington' on his counterfeit $1 bills. That's right. Counterfeit $1 bills. — Source

29

In 1923, hyperinflation caused German currency to lose, almost all of its value. It became so worthless that people gave it to children to play with or used it as wallpaper. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

to It make costs 2.41 one cents penny. CRACKED COM — Source

27

The U.S. Military has recently perfected the long-distance stinkbomb. By extensively researching what smells bad to different races. The idea behind a malodorant is to incapacitate the enemy with a nasty smell. The problem is, each culture has a different idea of what constitutes a bad smell. So each batch of stinkbombs has to be custom-formulated ahead of time. CRACKED.COM http://www. sunshine-project.de/infos/archiv/hintergrund/nr_08.pdf — Source

26

During the Vietnam War, the U.S. decided to relocate South Vietnamese villagers. It was called the Strategic Hamlet Program, and the idea was to move the villagers away from the soldiers, so they wouldn't get hurt. They'd be grateful, and support our side. But we grossly underestimated the number of villagers. It turned out there were 8 million of them, and the government had no way of providing for them. The resulting discontent made them easy recruits for the communists. CRACKED.COM http://www.britannica com/event/Vietnam-War#ref809122 — Source

25

A MEXICAN TOWN IS SPRAYING PEOPLE CROSSING THE BORDER WITH DISINFECTANT. OFICINAS GRUPO BETA Drivers crossing into Nogales, Mexico from Nogales, Arizona have to step out of their vehicles and go into an inflatable tunnel where they get sprayed with some kind of biodegradable sanitizer. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

The United Kingdom actually appointed a Minister for Loneliness in 2018. That was the result of the 2017 finding that 9 million Britons felt lonely some or all of the time --soon, a national strategy for loneliness was launched. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

23

The production of anti-matter at this point in time costs $62.5 TRILLION dollars per gram. That's almost 4 times the entire United States national debt. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

Russia created a Safe Selfie campaign with a booklet about what not to do. The booklet, distributed in schools, says you shouldn't do things like climbing an electrical pylon or hanging from a rooftop just to get likes. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

21

Berlin tried to use mimes to deal with drunken tourists in the streets at night. POUL ГОРОШЕК and ГОР MAP The mimes would go out in groups of four and let people take photos with them while exerting social pressure on tourists to act appropriately. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

20

In 2010, the GSA spent $800,000 on a conference in Vegas. : | E I P NO 850498142 D NO на вбе. conoscions ... 100 OTI THIS NOTTING eep ried Twinkie The General Services Administration is the eRm agency that is in charge of eliminating government waste. Expenses included a $75,000 team building exercise, various $5,600 in-room parties, $31,000 networking receptions and assorted mysterious catering bills, such as a $7,000 sushi bill. CRACKED.COM http://www.gsaig gov/?LinkServiD=90537F5B-FBF8-E39E-A4F0D09005742C28&showMeta=0 — Source

19

Project Stargate was a 20-year government program launched in 1978. The project employed 22 full-time psychics. Apparently Command heard rumors that the Soviets were using psychics for military intelligence, and they didn't want to be left out. The psychics were used to telepathically view distant locations, looking for military installations. CRACKED.COM http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,983829,00.html — Source

18

Between 1942 and 1964, the U.S. Military built an artificial island in the Pacific. Johnson Atoll, 860 mi southwest of Hawaii It was abandoned in 2004. We don't know how much it cost, but a comparable project in scope and scale would be the Japanese Kansai Airport. That was another artificial island built to support a landing strip, and it cost around $20 billion. CRACKED.COM www.urbanghostsmedia com/2010/04/isolated-and-abandoned-military-airbase-johnston-atoll/ — Source

17

In 1962, council members in Centralia, PA, hired firefighters to burn their trash. It's still burning. The landfill was adjacent to an underground coal mine, and the fire spread to the tunnels beneath the city. Smoke continues to billow from the fire, which is expected to burn for another 250 years. In 1984, Congress spent more than $42 million to relocate the town's residents. CRACKED.COM David DeKok, 1986 Unseen Danger; A Tragedy of People, Government, and the Centralia Mine Fire. — Source

16

The National Institutes of Health

The NIH has spent $1.55 million on a video game app called Kiddio: Food Fight. In it, you play a mother persuading her kid to taste vegetables. Because harried moms want nothing more than to spend rare moments of leisure playing force the kid to eat veggies on their phones. CRACKED.COM https://salmon house, .gov/media-center/press-releases/ rep-salmon-introduces-final-shrink-our-spending-bill-2015-cuts-funding — Source

15

Cities across the country are implementing gun buyback programs. RUD HC3832296 KB63832296 Buyback value: $50 - $250 Which are causing people to buy more guns. Not only are the collected guns not likely to be the ones used in violent crime, but a seller will often use the money to buy a new gun. CRACKED.COM http://www.independent.org/newsroom/article.asp?id=2128 — Source

14

Nano Air Vehicles

The Pentagon has so far invested over $4 million on the NAV. (That's short for Nano Air Vehicle.) the NAV Not the NAV It's a robot hummingbird. It's 6 inches tall and weighs less than an ounce. And yes, it's for spying. CRACKED.COM http://www.avinc.com/nano — Source

13

In 1958, the Air Force hatched Project A119, A Study of Lunar Research Flights. The plan: Nuke the Moon. During the height of the Cold War, the U.S. wanted to show off its military might with a nuclear detonation on the moon that would be visible from Earth. After 8 project reports were commissioned, it was determined they could probably pull it off, but the project was scrapped. CRACKED.COM http://www.commondreams.org/headlines/051400-02.htm — Source

12

In 2010, the Census Bureau wanted people to get excited about taking the census. 2 se So they spent T $2.5 million on a on Super Bowl ad. mo S The dreary commercial featured Ed Begley Jr. and a few other B-list celebrities standing around a table, talking. this CRACKED.COM http://www.cbsnews.com/news/census-spends-25m-on-super-bowl-ads/ — Source

11

The US flew nearly $12 billion in shrink-wrapped $100 bills into Iraq. THE Then they tossed it around without checking to see who was receiving it or how it was being spent. A congressional committee found that a staggering amount of the cash, which was was earmarked for Iraqi ministries and US contractors, was lost to corruption and waste. CRACKED.COM http://www.theguardian.com/world/2007/feb/0B/usa iraq1 — Source

10

HUNDRED THE THE FOR POOP S G FEDERAL INTER KB46 NOTE HENKIVE CC H KB 46279860I PLANE B2 TESDER AND - NOT - Done Coolede de Code 26852 D 46 U.S. AIR FORCE FS-852 USAF GRACKED.COM One of the Air Force's many costly aircraft experiments involved sticking a propeller on the F-84F KB4 Thunderstreak. The resulting constant sonic boom triggered UNDR nausea, seizures, and the 60 1 loosening of people's bowels. — Source

9

INTER HUMA TENCER FOR S KB46 WEB NOTE KB FEDERAL NOTE B SCREW-UPS I 0986 LB 46279860I adidas TOSTA NOT not adidas Close PREMIE www.ellthcare.gov ME - live HealthCare.gov Learn Get 46 All T Small Businesses Individuals & & Families CRACKED CON $4 million is not the amount spent on the site HealthCare.gov. $4 million is just the additional amount spent in the opening days after the site failed : ... the amount sent to the same contractors who screwed the site up 46279 160 I in the first place. 860 I — Source

8

FOR Health KB OPERATION NOTE 45279860I IGLOO WHITE au LOSA of KOOL и Claim - Bibal BATTERY MODULE ENVIRONMENTAL SIGNAL PROCESSOR ACOUSTIC ENCODER PORTS CODE PLUG D 46 MIKE ASSEMBLY DECODER AUDIO AMPLIFIER RECEIVER TRANSMITTER GRAGKED.COM 2011 etit adidas Gulcia America spent $1.7 billion on airdropping sensors along the Но Chi Minh Trail during the Vietnam KB4 War. The enemy immediately spotted the sensors and threw bags of pee at them, giving the Air Force 846279 60 I KB false readings. 860 I o2 — Source

7

FOR MSA TENTER Friam & ONE HUNDRED IN KB48 KB46279860 I PENIS SLARS NOTS FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE PUMPS KB 46279860I B2 TESDER PRODUTE 110 NOT THOS KOREA Disney the live D GRACKED COM DIO HS PER Colem Cooleda You It's surprising that until 2005, Medicare covered penis pumps, which can do bad things to men's equipment. Worse, it spent $14 КВ million more on the things than the devices normally retail for. 46279 60 I KB462798 02 60 I — Source

6

THIS DORMANT INTER USA TENDER KB46 Good BUILDING KB46 B2 PRODUTE FORD ORIGIN AND LESS TESDER NOT adidas Bibal - Date - 46 2011 CRACKED.COM PER DIO HS Colem Your The military built a $36 million military headquarters in Afghanistan. Not that bad a price for a military HQ. Except, the КВ military there never actually wanted it, and it was never used. 46279 60 I KB46219 DO 9860I — Source

5

FOR NIS - POLICE USE TENDER KB46 DAY HUNDRED KB SAVING FEDERAL HENERVE NOTE HIPSTERS KB 46279860I B2 860 I TODER AND - 500 Done AJATE PRODUCE - D CRACKED.COM HS PER Colore Coolede Sidal I The NIH spent $5 million on an anti-smoking campaign targeted specifically at hipsters, those KB4 focused on the alternative music scene, local artists and designers, and eclectic self expression. 60 I Hipsters went on smoking. — Source

4

THE Für FEDERAL - OF NHE TENTER MED KB46 NOTE 60 I REGISTER 19 KB B2 PRODUTE TENDER AND - NOT - THE I098 VES - - live UTTER SCRIPTA MANET THE REGISTER FEDERAL OF THE UNITED 1934 STATES NUMBER 1 VOLUME 1 D 46 Washington, Saturday, March 14, 1936 8 22'28 g. 19.26 the to corner No. 2 K point on the por Island, facing seesbore of mull RESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES emperty end of the this coruer & U. B. 21 B. standard e Atlantic Ocean: from EXECUTIVE ORDER 2 WC COR 2 BULLA ISLAND 1935 crete poet — Source

3

KB46279 FOR STO MINERO . UNK - PRODUTO B2 KB48 Endole Tobal NOTE STORING CRAP 79860I MAC Chin - - Coca-Cola Bidel CRACKED.COM DIO HS PER Colour VA People's Customs and Border control spends $1 million a year on storage. Specifically, on storing KB broken furniture and obsolete computers, because no one's KB 46279 yet ordered the stuff to PODE 60 I KB be trashed yet. 860 I DO — Source

2

KB462798 FOR NITE MINERO UNK TECH PRODUTO B2 KB48 The Endols Tobal FUNNY Og the VIDEOS 60 JAM TENDER AND em NOTE J THE Blue - live : 46 CRACKED.COM HD PER Tolem Cookeds Your In 2010, the IRS commissioned videos parodying Star Trek and Gilligan's Island to air at a training contest. The Trek one, at least, offered zero training information, so the IRS's initial defense of it 60 I failed, and they apologized. — Source

1

FOR NIS A MSA TEKOTA S PRODUTO KB45 ONE HUNDRED THE FACEBOOK ITAL HENERVB NOTE 3 / LIKES KB46279860I B2 RU TESDER PRODUTE 110 LESS - NOT - - Done Bibal - - CLASS live DEF HS UNITED ST GRACKED GOM DIO PER Coolede The State Department spent $600, ,000 in 2012 to attract fans to its Facebook page. Shockingly, KB4 this did nothing to raise America's standing in the world, not even in terms of the sad metric of social 46279 60 1 media engagement. 860 I — Source

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