15 Badass Institutions and Mysterious Orders That Really Fell Off a Cliff
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The past involves a lot of secretive organizations doing badass shit. There’s something inherently cool about secrecy, and people banding together to make changes under the radar just feels exciting and anarchic.
But now, there’s something about the idea of secret societies that feels a bit passé. The exclusivity involved in a lot of them feels a bit shitty, and scratching the surface of a lot of interesting-seeming historical fraternal organizations leads pretty quickly to more “Rule 6: No Jews” type regulations than anyone can really deal with.
Or, they just turn out to be pretty dull. A lot of secret societies and brotherhoods were pretty much ways of organizing group insurance while wearing funny hats and drinking beer. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s a lot less exciting than it could be.
Plenty still exist, of course. But, in this modern world, is a bunch of dudes wearing silly robes and talking in code even slightly intriguingly mysterious any more? Once upon a time it might have seemed like the way to enact change was to gather a bunch of brainy guys together for hushed conversations in darkened rooms — that shit can be done on WhatsApp now. Women are even allowed.
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Freemasonry: A Fun Hobby for Fun Dudes

Skull and Bones: A Fancy Lads’ Fancy Club

The Knights Templar: No Longer a Thing

The Illuminati: Couldn’t Keep Itself Going

The Invisible College: Went Legit

The Bullingdon Club: Privileged Assholes Being Shitty

Sons of Temperance: Left High and Dry by Other Developments

The Hellfire Club: Now Just an X-Men Thing

The Beggar’s Benison: One Hundred Years of Jerking Off

The Horseman’s Word: Replaced by, er, Literacy

The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn: Became Too Magickal

Order of Knight-Masons Elect Priests of the Universe: Cool Name, Nothing Else
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Ancient Order of United Workmen: Lives on in the Form of Insurance

Secret Eye Doctors on a Mission

Fraternities, in General: From Hubs of Debate to Dens of Depravity
