10 Pieces Of True Comedy Genius Hidden On YouTube

10 Finding Nemo: Fish Tank Surprise

This video by user Murdoc has been around for two and a half years, and it still doesn't have the appropriate number of views, which would be "everybody who is currently alive or ever will be alive." If you don't want the surprise ruined, stop reading right here, because I'm about to talk about that shit.

It's a 17-second video that starts on a fish tank, similar to the one in the dentist's office in the movie Finding Nemo. Soft, Disney-esque music plays as the camera slowly pulls back to show the ironic beauty of these gorgeous tropical fish being held in captiv- DILDO! It flies into frame completely out of the blue and perfectly suction cups itself to the side of the tank, softly flopping around in large, rubbery circles.

At first, I thought this was an actual scene from the movie, just played on someone's TV. But no, upon further inspection -- I've watched it several dozen times -- the fish actually jerk back in surprise when it hits the glass. And now I can't stop laughing, imagining our own reactions if an enormous galactic fuck-rod slapped itself against our atmosphere and flopped around, stretching far into the outer reaches of our solar system. In fact, I'm pretty sure that will be the form that one of the Four Horsemen takes when the spiritual realms finally have enough of our shit.

9 Cats Are Dicks

This video was made by HelixSnake, and the program that he used to create it is, I don't give a shit. All I care about is watching that cat casually walk down the street, totally carefree and unassuming, as cats are wont to do. Then when it sees a group of people standing on the corner, it breaks into a full sprint because cats don't waste opportunities to headbutt humans 30 feet through the air and into oncoming traffic.

Both the man and the cat flop to the ground in ragdoll fashion ... and I just realized how many of my favorite videos contain flopping. Then the cat kicks into full dick mode and ragdoll-flops its way through town, while people frantically and futilely try to run away. One by one, it launches people hundreds of feet through the air as they scream in terror or angrily call it a "fucking asshole."

As the scene progresses, the destruction ramps up with the cat headbutting cars into the air and flinging semis over the horizon, where they slam into buildings and explode. The video is less than a minute and a half, but I swear to you that if it was 24 hours long, I wouldn't be sleeping tonight. I'd be giggling until I lost my voice, and then I'd switch to laughing in sign language.

8 Out-Of-Context Clips

I can't really give full credit to the people who uploaded these videos because they obviously didn't create them. But I sure as hell can thank them for finding the exact perfect handful of seconds that transforms a movie or TV show from a normal piece of entertainment into a surreal blast of pure comedy.

Like when HooXor uploaded the 32-second video above, from one of the 5 trillion ninja movies from the 1980s. That half-minute perfectly encapsulates what ninja movies were to us back then. An unassuming businessman is casually walking to work (I assume he's running a Pac-Man T-shirt factory) ... when out of the blue, a bright red ninja peeks from behind a tree. Because fire-engine red is the perfect camouflage to conceal oneself in the middle of the day. Startled, the man screams, "NINJA!" in the same way you'd warn one of your friends that there's a wasp flying around his head. Then the ninja does what ninjas do: He whips a throwing star into the guy's back, then flips his way over to the man and elbows him with a sharp punching sound effect ... then disappears into the void, leaving us all scratching our heads and thinking, "What the ninjaless fuck did I just see?"

Then there's this clip, uploaded by tvmastermandude, who found the exact six seconds that perfectly sum up the show Chopped ... or, really, any reality cooking show in the U.S.:

The ridiculously ominous music that looms in the background, reminding us how desperately important and dramatic cooking is. The look of horror on that douchefuck judge's face when he gasps, "Auuuhhh! The wontons!" like he just watched her flip her totally sweet Camaro. These are the reactions and setup normally reserved for live stunt performances, where dudes ramp motorcycles across rooftops. Only, in this case, the cooking equivalent is wontons.

Or if political speeches are more your thing, Richard S. Dargan found the greatest eight seconds of a George W. Bush speech:

There's nothing really special about what he's saying -- he's just talking about a trip to Africa, where he went to a park in Botswana -- it's how he says it. For some reason, when he gets to that phrase "a park in Botswana," he leans forward and stresses it so hard, it comes across in the same way a teacher yells the last part of her sentence at a student who won't shut the fuck up during the lesson. Theoretically, there is nothing funny about that at all. But that doesn't change the fact that I've seen that clip 10 times, and I have laughed on every one of them.

I think it's because I always picture the clip continuing and him finishing that phrase off with a slight pause and then angrily saying someone's name. "... a PARK IN BOTSWANA ... Chad. I'm sorry, is my story interrupting your conversation? Are you not interested in tales that originate from deep within the heart of a Botswanian park? Perhaps you'd like to come up here and entertain these nice folks with your own Botswana park stories. Oh, you don't have one? That's what I thought. May I continue?"

7 Dragon Age: Inquisition: Awkward Silence

Show me a good, stupid video game glitch, and I will laugh every time. But this one truly is something special. It's so good, it actually has me questioning if the game developers put it in there on purpose. If not, it is the luckiest accidental joke I've ever seen.

The two men in the game are exchanging douchey insults that boil down to, "You're boring." "No, you're boring!" The magic shows up 13 seconds in, when the main character retorts, "There are things worse than silence." And then the game hangs on his blank expression for the remaining 41 seconds of the video.

The conversation just stops. And, after a while, his dead-eyed gaze begins to feel like aggression. As if he's quietly daring the other man to break the silence. For the characters in that universe, it's a lesson in philosophy through demonstration. For us as players, it's a clinic in irony. I'm not actually sure whether I'd prefer this to be a glitch or purposely written ... because if that scene is in the game by design, then the writers deserve to be world famous. But if it's not -- if it truly is a glitch -- then it may very well be definitive proof of supernatural forces at work.

6 Umbrellas Attack En Masse

This is another short one, at six seconds, but I will always have crazy respect for anyone with the self-control to make a video only exactly as long as it needs to be. This is definitely one of those.

It starts off with a lone umbrella caught in the wind, blowing across the beach. A man runs up to it and chucks his own folded umbrella at it. I understand that he's just trying to get some weight put on it so it stops flopping down the beach, but the way he throws it looks exactly like the umbrella is attacking him like a wild animal and he's using his own as a spear. Because the second that spear misses, he turns to run, as if to say, "Oh shit, I just pissed it off!"

It then abruptly cuts to a rolling stampede of wild umbrellas, flopping their way across the beach and crushing anyone unlucky enough to stand in their path. If a sun visor had fallen into their herd, it would be a re-creation of the death scene from The Lion King, except all the animals are replaced with implements of sun protection.

5 "When Was The Door Ass Of 'Let's Make A Snowman!'?"

WARNING: This isn't totally unsafe for work, but it's close enough that I'd feel much better about your continued employment if I give this warning.

The title of this entry is the phrase that they used to title their video. It is also a reminder that I will always think bad Japanese-to-English translations are funny, because deep down, I will always be 9 years old. This happens to be another case where if you don't want the surprise ruined, stop reading right here and watch the video ...

... because after the first rendition of the song "Let's Make A Snowman" from the movie Frozen, they redo it, replacing the door with a nearly naked human ass. Complete with enthusiastic cheek slapping. It's pretty impressive because the victim of that ass-slapping never breaks. Even when the other guy starts singing directly into his asshole. And if you don't understand why that's funny, I don't ever want to know you.

4 Harold's Gotta Tell Ya Somethin'

I fully recognize that about 90 percent of the people reading this will absolutely hate that video. I think you have to be a certain level of OCD to really appreciate hearing a boxing announcer say the phrase "Jim, I gotta tell ya somethin'" what seems like 200 times in a row. But if you are one of those unfortunate people, you're likely going to enjoy it with exactly this pattern: "Heh. That's kind of funny. Ha! He just keeps going. OK, that's a bit much. This video should have been 15 seconds long at most. Holy crap, he's still going! Hahaha, for some reason it's funny again! Man, he really wants to tell Jim something! I wish this video was 12 hours long!"

There's just something hilarious about not only catching a phrase that an announcer or actor uses way too often, but then going the extra step of collecting all of those videos and editing them together like that. Man, that had to have taken weeks. That's true commitment to a joke, and GrizzleX deserves something in return for that level of devotion. Like a puppy or something. One puppy from each person who reads this article.

Actually, we may need to choose between GrizzleX and the person who made a "Shelley Duvall" account on YouTube ... and then uploaded this as the first video:

Or, shit, the person who put together this video about China:

3 "Tweeted Love"

I ... I can't even imagine ... I just ...

How? How much holy-shitting time do you have to invest in order to make something like this? I mean, I can't even describe what's going on and do it justice. On the surface, it's just replacing all of the lyrics to "Tainted Love" with names found on Twitter. But it's so much more than that. It's spelling out the sound effects in the song (again, using Twitter account names), and making them read like everyday spoken English. It's the precise editing. It's all. Those. Screenshots.

But more than that, it's actually finding all of those names. I really hope jimjarmo got paid for this, because I can't imagine getting home from work and thinking, "Oh man, I totally forgot that I have to find 200 more Twitter accounts for that 'Tainted Love' project I've been working on. Sleep can wait. This is important."

2 Star Trek: Bad Dinner Guests

Someone has to explain this to me because I just don't understand how this video could be uploaded in 2008, yet still have only 15,000 views as of the writing of this article. It's a basic "cut-up" video: a re-edit of a movie scene that turns it into something else. But it's done so well that I'm blown away every time I watch it. It deserves more eyeballs, goddammit, and if it doesn't get them soon, I'm going to start burning down the houses of my neighbors in protest.

Understand that some of the language can be pretty crude. For instance, a Klingon woman at the beginning tells Spock, "The Federation is no more than a homos-only club." To which Spock replies, "The captain feels that Starfleet's mission has always been one of penis." But the 2008s were a different time.

The greatest part, though, is at the end, when a drunken Kirk keeps calling them all "Klingon bastards." I don't know what they had to do during the editing, but he genuinely sounds shitfaced. Like one of those aggressive fratboy assholes you find at every party who has a few beers and then wants to start a fight. It's beautiful to watch, and everyone should see this piece of genius. When Kirk starts interrupting the Klingons toward the end of that video, I laughed so hard my soul flew out.

1 Heavy Rain: Klutz Edition

Heavy Rain is an action-drama video game that's done in the style of film noir. It was considered one of the finest pieces of storytelling in all of video games, and most critics lauded it for its ability to emotionally grip the player.

The above video is a foot-chase scene from the game, loaded with "quick-time events," meaning that when you see a button command appear on the screen, and you push it at the right time, you succeed in progressing the scene in your favor. It turns out that if you fail every one of those quick-time events, Heavy Rain ceases to be an emotionally gripping thriller and instead turns into a Lonely Island sketch.

I'm not going to describe what happens in this video because you absolutely have to see it to believe it, but trust me when I say that the longer you watch, the funnier it gets. It is pitch-perfect comedy in its pacing and execution, and I refuse to believe that the writers of the game didn't plan it out to be exactly that: Succeed, and it's a serious thriller ... fail, and it's Ace Ventura. Seriously, just keep watching, because every second it gets more and more ridiculous.

YouTube is like a comedy treasure planet. Watch a guy crash through a ceiling and act like nothing is wrong at all in 10 Brilliant Comedy Moments Hidden On YouTube or check out penguins doing their best reality TV slap fight in 9 Brilliant Moments Of Comedy Hiding On YouTube.

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