5 Fascinating Facts About the IRS That Probably Won’t Make Paying Them Any More Fun
The words “IRS” and “fun” are rarely if ever uttered in the same, non-sarcastic sentence. Given that they’re in charge of taxes, which involves basically paying a nice vacation’s worth of money to do math for a full day, it’s not surprising.
But although they might not be the most joy-inspiring governmental agency, there are at least some cool facts about the IRS you probably didn’t know.
They Have An Armed Police Division
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Think of the IRS and you’re probably imagining horn-rimmed glasses and pocket protectors, not plate carriers and assault rifles. Within the IRS, however, there is a division of armed enforcement officers, and one with a rich history. You might know that Al Capone was ultimately taken down for tax evasion, but you probably don’t know it was an undercover agent from what would later be known from the IRS that pulled off the arrest.
You Still Owe Taxes on Criminal Activity
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Speaking of criminal activity, did you know that you are absolutely responsible for paying taxes on even ill-gotten gains? If you just shook down a bank, the IRS still considers those burlap money bags fully taxable, and they expect a share, same as everyone else in the crew. They even tell you exactly where to report illegal income: Form 1040, Schedule 1, line 8z.
Donald Duck Was Once on Their Payroll
In the early 1940s, much like now, people didn’t much like paying taxes. Given the ongoing World War, the government very much needed people to pony up, and the IRS went looking for someone to convince citizens to pay their fair share. That someone was an animated duck. Donald Duck, to be exact. In a 1942 cartoon called The New Spirit, Donald is convinced to pay his taxes to “fight the axis.”
Their Computer System Is Insanely Antiquated
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Upgrading a complicated computer system, especially one that’s packed to the gills with sensitive info, is a big undertaking. Which is why the government, surprisingly often, chooses to stick with what’s working — even if that means that the nation’s taxes are still being processed on a 60-year-old system, which is practically a millennium in tech timelines. No shock here, but they have trouble finding tech support and programmers, because the Assembly language it’s coded in is antiquated and it’s hard to track down specialists who are familiar with it.
They Have A Plan for Taxes After Nuclear War
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There aren’t a lot of upsides to nuclear war, outside of maybe being able to grip coffee mugs better with all our new fingers. You’d think one of the other few silver linings might be not having to pay taxes anymore. Unfortunately, the IRS is way ahead of you. When nuclear destruction seemed like a real possibility during the Cold War, they cooked up a contingency plan, which would have them collecting taxes again in only a single year.
