5 Incredibly Low Stakes But Funny Fan Theories
Fan theories range in quality from basically canon to “it was all, like, a dream or something,” but they always make you think about a film in a new and interesting way. Well, most of the time. Occasionally, a fan theory is fun precisely because it adds nothing to the story whatsoever. Like the idea that…
Frodo Doesn’t Know Legolas’ Name
Throughout the 11-hour Lord of the Rings trilogy, Frodo never says Legolas’ name, even when it would make more sense for him to do so. To be fair, they don’t really interact much, and we’ve all been in situations where we never got someone’s name and it gets to a point where it’d be weird to ask. At least he figured it out later.
R2D2 Is Constantly Swearing
We never know exactly what the beepier droids in the Star Wars franchise are saying, relying on the reactions of those who speak their language for context, and there aren’t that many. If you were surrounded by idiot meatbags who couldn’t understand you, wouldn’t you get a little profane? According to a copy of the original script shared by Chewie actor Peter Mayhew, Artoo does work blue on at least one occasion.
‘Abracadabra’ Is Derived From ‘Avada Kedavra’
You might have noticed that the “killing curse” used in the Harry Potter series, “avada kedavra,” sounds a lot like “abracadabra,” the generic magic word we muggles bust out for any mildly impressive surprise. That might not be a coincidence so much as a mistranslation of the words they heard any time throughout history that some robed guy showed up and started shooting sparks at them. In reality, “abracadabra” is derived from Aramaic, but hey, it could just be that old. Or Rowling’s a hack. One of those things.
Drax Can’t See People Who Don’t Move
A joke in Infinity War depends on Drax’s belief that he can become invisible if he moves slowly enough, which is a perfectly good joke on its own, but it could be because he thinks everyone sees things the same way as him, i.e., based on movement. In the opening scene of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, he does appear to lose sight of Baby Groot when the wee tree stands still. This has no bearing on his ability to fight bad guys, who are usually deeply in motion. It’s just fun.
Tarzan Wears a Loincloth Because He’s Ashamed of His Massive Dong
There are a number of questions raised by the premise of a human raised by apes, but for our purposes, the most important is why Tarzan wears a loincloth. Of course, it’s actually because Disney audiences aren’t ready for male full frontal, but he would have no socialized sense of modesty or shame surrounding his nudity — except maybe he did. Despite their Kong-size bodies, apes have much smaller penises than humans do, so it’s possible that all the other ape boys made fun of Tarzan’s hilariously pendulous wang until he was forced by embarrassment to cover it. Thankfully, he encounters human civilization well before the age of porn, or he would be torn apart by conflicting insecurities.
