Here’s Why You’ll Never Get to Play the ‘Seinfeld’ Video Game

What if there was an official Seinfeld point-and-click adventure game from the 1990s that was never released?

That question was the actual premise behind Seinfeld Adventure (The Game About Nothing), a pitch from two successful video-game creators in the early 2020s. Jacob Janerka and Ivan Dixon ignored the advice of common-sense pals and risked the wrath of Larry David’s attorneys by pitching their game directly to the internet at large. Their reasoning? “We want to do this the official way,” they said on the defunct seinfeldgame.com. “However, we believe that pitching to the internet will show the demand for such a game, which will provide a better chance of this becoming a thing than us just sending a cold email.”

Spoiler alert: The Hail Mary ploy didn’t work. But the game looks like it would have been a lot of fun, based on the old-school trailer. 

Prospective players could pick Jerry, Elaine or George to navigate through Seinfeld’s world. Kramer, however, wasn’t an option. “He works better narratively as a ‘wild card,’ someone who can influence the story but not be controlled.” 

The developers promised they wouldn’t simply recycle old gags from the sitcom’s reruns (even though Jerry could choose items like Junior Mints, a Pez dispenser or a Fusilli Jerry from his inventory). 

Instead, the game would feature “a brand new story revolving around the Seinfeld characters designed to work in this medium, remaining faithful to the tone and themes of the show,” the developers promised. “Like the show’s running length, we intend for the game to take roughly half an hour. This is ultimately scaleable (sic) and multiple half-hour episodes can be made or added later.” 

The gamemakers even shared the plot of the first episode, titled “The Email.” Jerry is dating a (presumably beautiful) publicist who inadvertently shares his email address with Kenny Bania. When Bania floods Jerry with requests to review his jokes, Jerry decides to break up with his new gal pal via email. Complications ensue when Elaine reminds Jerry that the publicist was getting them tickets to Rochelle, Rochelle 2. Can Newman, sworn enemy of email, save the day? 

Sadly, we’ll likely never find out. 

The pitch website — a foreign-language gambling page is now the master of that domain — stated that its goal was to land “an official contract providing us the rights to create a game based on the IP. Even a ‘Yeah cool’ from Jerry or Larry would help. Without it, even releasing a ‘free fan game’ can get us into deep waters if they so choose to target us.”

The pitch was a qualified success, according to Adventure Game Spot, getting coverage from “all of the large gaming outlets.” The trailer — or at least IGN’s version of it — has a quarter of a million views. 

But why would Seinfeld and David hand the keys to their lucrative sitcom to game designers with no experience writing comedy? Seinfeld is already on the record hating the unauthorized A.I. version of his show. No wonder the pitch “just wasn’t enough to secure the rights to create a Seinfeld game. It goes down as a major disappointment and a terrible missed opportunity.”