How to Not Humiliate Yourself When Public Speaking, According to Comedy Legend Carol Leifer
Everyone knows what a bad speech sounds like. But very few know how to write good a one — and even fewer have what it takes to write a truly funny speech. Veteran comedy writer Carol Leifer happens to be one of those talented few. In addition to shows like Seinfeld, Hacks and Curb Your Enthusiasm — just to name three — she’s also written for awards ceremonies like the Oscars and the Emmys as well as countless speaking engagements. So, it was a natural fit for her to co-write How to Write a Funny Speech… for a Wedding, Bar Mitzvah, Graduation & Every Other Event You Didn't Want to Go to in the First Place along with fellow comedy writer Rick Mitchell. Released last week, the book serves as a practical guide for anyone looking to craft a humorous speech, even with little to no experience.
I recently spoke with Leifer over the phone to learn more about her new book and gain insight into her long career in making people laugh.
Where did the idea for this book come from?
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My writing partner with this, Rick Mitchell, who wrote for the Ellen Show, we got together and I had just been at a wedding where a father of the bride gave a horrible speech and he had just been at a wedding where a fraternity brother gave a horrible speech. We were just talking about how your average person not only doesn’t want to make a speech, but when they do it, so many times, it’s horrible. And, in 2025, what used to be a story 20 years ago about a bad speech now is up online and humiliating forever.
We just thought, as comedians, doing your set is sort of a speech, and I also give a lot of speeches to corporations. We were both thinking, “It’s not that hard to write a great, funny speech, so why don’t we just give people tips?” And, this is not only for making a great speech, but we wanted to walk them through every part — the beginning, the middle, the end — giving them jokes that they’re free to use for their speech and adding in funny elements.
One thing I noticed when I read it was that it was really short and accessible. Did you plan that going in?
I’m glad you responded to that because I feel like, when you’re going to write a book on anything, if people see it’s the size of an encyclopedia, they’re not interested. And we wanted to make it really handy and short because you don’t need to go into long paragraphs about this stuff. We really made it for everybody. Even for somebody who’s a little lazy, we give them templates that are like Mad Libs to fill out.
Another reason why we wanted to write it is because a lot of people now go to A.I. for speeches, and we show how that’s a big mistake because speeches are all about being personal. We actually did it in the book: We took some elements, then we gave all that info to A.I. and it wrote one of the most horrible speeches ever. It even got facts wrong; it really wasn’t good. So, we want to encourage people, especially with speech writing, that personal is gold.
What’s the most common mistake people make when doing speeches?
People go on too long. We say in the book: five minutes or under. The more succinct and specific you can make your speech, the more people enjoy it.
You’re often credited as being the “real Elaine” or the inspiration for the character, how do you feel about that?
Well, I dated Jerry, and we’ve stayed really close friends. I think that’s where the comparison ends. I like to think I’m a good dancer. I like to think when people surprise me, I don’t push them with, “Get out!”
You’ve worked with some real legends, can you share what it was like to work with Carol Burnett who wrote the foreword of the book?
She was so important to me growing up. I idolized her, and she’s really one of the reasons I wanted to get into comedy. And, when you meet her — and you have to be careful with meeting your legends — she is one of the nicest, sweetest people I’ve ever met. She’s so generous. When I asked her to write the foreword for the book, I gave her my earlier book just for reference. I said to her, “No pressure to read it,” but, sure enough, two days later when I was working with her, she was like, “Oh, Carol, I wanted to tell you how much I loved your book!” It was like, “Oh my God, she read my book!”
She’s going to turn 92, and she’s just a dynamo. I can’t say enough nice things about Carol Burnett.
