14 Celebrities and Historical Figures Who Hooked Up with Their Cousins
Oof sorry, unfollowing now. I knew he was an authoritarian dictator, just learned he married his cousin.
Let’s Just Say: Eleanor Roosevelt Didn’t Need to Change Her Name
FDR gave non-incestual marriage the ol’ college try. In his sophomore year, he proposed to a wealthy heiress, who turned him down. He immediately turned his attention to his fifth cousin, Anna Eleanor, and later married her. His mother was apparently the only one who had a problem with this.
I’m Running an Evolutionary Experiment in My Boudoir
Charles Darwin crashed with some family after one of his adventures, and fell in love with Emma Wedgwood, who Wikipedia bizarrely insists on describing as his “charming, intelligent, and cultured cousin.” Together, they popped out 10 kids, presumably to compare their diverse beak shapes.
Third Marriage, First Cousin
In 1957, Jerry Lee Lewis embarked on his third (of seven) matrimonial journeys, to his 13-year-old first cousin, Myra Gale Brown. His career absolutely tanked, for like two seconds. He spent 10 years writing love songs to a teenager, compiled them into an album and successfully reinvented himself as a country star.
War of the Wives
Imagine you’re convinced to let your brother-in-law’s deadbeat son crash at your place for a while, and his comedy writer ass hooks up with and marries your daughter. That’s the love story of H.G. Wells and his first cousin, Isabel Mary Wells. Wells would later dump Isabel to kidnap and marry one of his students.
Kissin’ Kerries
The only mention of “cousin” on John Kerry’s Wikipedia page is French politician Brice Lalonde. But a search on his first wife Julia Thorne’s page proudly admits they’re “distant cousins” through a wealthy settler who helped to found Greenwich, Connecticut.
My Ex Left Me for Her Cousin
Actress Greta Scacchi left her first husband to marry Vincent D’Onofrio in 1989. She gave that a whirl for four years, then took four years to live the single life before settling down and making a new baby cousin with her own first cousin.
Team Rocket Is Blasting Off Again (Derogatory)
After he got shot in the chest, Jesse James moved into his uncle’s place to recuperate. There, he fell in love with Zerelda Mimms, his first cousin, who was named after his mom. They fooled around for nine years before finally getting married and having four kids.
In His Defense, It Was an Arranged Marriage
Saddam Hussein’s first wife was his first cousin, Sajida Talfah, an arrangement that was made when they were just li’l tykes. Some sources say they met when he was 21, some say they were raised as siblings. Either way, his legacy is irreparably tarnished.
Founding Father, Kissing Cousin
Thomas Jefferson’s marriage to Martha Wayles has been described as “the happiest period of his life.” For her part, she spent the last 10 years of her life enduring six pregnancies with her cousin, the last of which likely killed her at age 33. Doesn’t sound like a party to me.
‘Ryan’s Daughter,’ Isabel’s Cousin
Director David Lean helmed lots of classic movies: Lawrence of Arabia, Oliver Twist and one that no one remembers but sounds vaguely incestual, Ryan’s Daughter. He also married his first cousin, Isabel Lean, and had a kid with her.
America’s Cousin
Rudy Giuliani married his childhood friend (and second cousin) Regina Peruggi in 1968. They got a civil divorce in 1982, but it took an extra year to convince the Roman Catholic church to grant an annulment because he’d “just discovered” they were cousins.
Quoth the Raven, ‘What the Hell, Dude?’
When he was about 20 years old, Edgar Allan Poe moved in with his widowed aunt and his seven-year-old cousin. He waited a respectable six years before he married her when they were 26 and 13, respectively.
It’s Not the Worst, But Ideally There Should Be a Few More Degrees of Kevin Bacon
While filming the PBS series Finding Your Roots, Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick learned that they’re ninth cousins, once removed.
E = ‘My Cousin’ Squared
Albert Einstein cheated on his first wife with — and later cheated on — Elsa Lowenthal, who was both his first cousin (mom’s side) and his second cousin (dad’s side).
