5 of the Wackiest On-Set Animal Incidents

5 The ‘Royal Tenenbaums’ Falcon Was Kidnapped

While soaring across the New York City skyline, the falcon who played the Tenenbaum children’s beloved bird, Mordecai, got loose. He made it all the way to New Jersey, where he was found by an opportunistic resident who somehow figured out his origin and held him for ransom. It took two weeks to recover the bird, by which time Wes Anderson et al decided to proceed with filming, which is why some characters comment on Mordecai looking different when he returns.

4 The ‘Apocalypse Now’ Tiger Terrorized an Airplane

The tiger that attacks Martin Sheen in the jungle got an earlier taste of human fear when it was transported to the set of the film. Its people tried to lure it into a carrier on the plane, but instead, it jumped on top of the carrier, where it “(stared) down at the passengers. Everyone ran into the front compartment and locked the door. The pilot climbed out his window and just sat there, refusing to fly.” They presumably have more secure methods of transporting exotic maneaters now.

3 A Commercial Bear Escaped for 24 Days

While filming a Kleenex commercial in 1980, a bear named Hercules escaped into the Scottish wilderness, leading to a massive 24-day bear-hunt. When he was found, he’d lost nearly 300 pounds, apparently because he refused to partake in the area’s dense population of livestock despite nearly starving to death. He became even more famous after that, landing roles in James Bond movies and children’s TV, because we love a vegetarian queen.

2 Gentle Ben Couldn’t Stop Eating

Meanwhile, a bear named Bruno was a veritable munching machine, even under the threat of serious grossness. On the set of the ‘60s TV show Gentle Ben, Bruno sometimes had to appear to reject food, so the crew did everything they could to stop Bruno from wanting it, including stuffing his face beforehand and dousing the food in perfume and cold cream. Still, nothing could stop Bruno, who also stole and ate crew members’ cigarettes. No wonder they don’t talk about him.

1 A ‘Harry Potter’ Monkey Couldn’t Stop Whacking It

During a classroom scene full of animals in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Daniel Radcliffe recalled that “there was a monkey of some kind in a cage that did just start jerking off relentlessly.” They apparently couldn’t get it to stop being publicly indecent in a room full of children, because the masturbating mandrill can be seen in the final cut of the movie. “I think Rupert maybe got peed on by a bat at some point as well,” he continued, “but yeah, I got away pretty cleanly after that.” 

Whatever you have to tell yourself, Radcliffe.