Here’s Why Anxiety Causes All That Flop Sweat

I’m an educated modern man who understands the biological purpose of sweat. I’m also of Irish blood, meaning I have a borderline medically concerning amount of familiarity with the process. Sweating is the body’s way of cooling itself down, which means that trying to explain to your brain why you’re going into a sauna would probably be met with a disappointed, blank stare.

If it’s a hot day? If my body temperature is rising during a workout? Sweat away, glands. I don’t like it, but I understand why you’re doing it. However, if you’ve ever experienced a nervous flop sweat, maybe during an ill-advised karaoke choice or a bit of public speaking? I’m curious why exactly the brain thinks that experience would be going better if I was suddenly wet.

It turns out that the brain, despite its reputation for being the smartest organ, is also very stupid. Stupid enough to have filed away fear as a singular emotion whether it’s caused by an animal predator or a very mean audience at an open mic. When your adrenaline spikes, the brain prepares your body for what it assumes is about to be a strenuous physical fight and/or flight by sweating to lower your body temperature. 

Unfortunately, you’re, in fact, not face-to-face with a grizzly bear, but in the middle of a job interview, in which both fighting and running away are frowned upon.

Someday, perhaps, our brain will engineer a defense mechanism for emotional distress. Hopefully, it will figure out something to release that isn’t just salty body water that’s helping no one. Maybe a few drops of dopamine, the special good-feeling juice brains are inexplicably miserly with. I know it’s up there, you asshole!