It’s Always Sunny in Florida As Real-Life Frank and Artemis Busted for ‘Unnatural Act’ Behind A Wendy’s
Love is in the air, and hamburger buns are in places that are literally illegal.
If you made a list of the most sex-positive sitcoms on television, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia would undoubtedly land near the top of the ranking. Though the Paddy’s Pub Gang is famously small-minded when it comes to race, religion and gender, sexuality is one area where Dennis, Dee, Charlie, Frank and, ever since he came out for real, Mac are all pretty progressive. And, if you had to make a list of the least sex-positive states in America, Ron DeSantis’ “Don’t Say Gay,” ban-the-porn, time-share-having Florida would be an easy pick for the top five.
Don't Miss
As such, when you take the sexually explorative values of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and throw them into a setting that’s not as, well, Philadelphian, it’s gonna make headlines like “Florida Couple Arrested Days Before Valentine's Day After Performing 'Unnatural' Act in Wendy's Parking Lot” when the cops inevitably shut it down.
According to the report from The Mirror (U.S.), earlier this week, Florida police officer Parker Moody stumbled upon a pair of hungry lovebirds making a Double Stack of themselves in the parking lot of a Wendy’s in broad daylight and in full view of a busy highway. Moody reported that he found the woman “with her buttocks facing” the man, whom Moody reported as “turgid” and “repetitively” “engaging” with his human Cobb salad. No word on what the male participant was or was not doing with the onions.
Now, a bit of food play incorporated into foreplay is as harmless as it is delicious, but this wannabe Frank and Artemis couple — let’s call them Frankemis — seemed to forget that getting caught in the act isn’t quite as appetizing. Florida Frankemis would do well to follow the example of the OGs the next time they wanna get weird at a Wendy’s and do it in the bathroom or in the dumpster instead of out in the open where they could be spotted and where the leftover lettuce is out of reach.
Florida law enforcement has charged both participants with performing an unnatural and lascivious act, though the defendants have both pleaded “not guilty” to the misdemeanor charge. After all, sex is perfectly natural, and the only lascivious part of the incident is the guy’s costume. I mean, come on, “Man-Spider”?
