‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Star Glenn Howerton Reports That, Yes, His Hair Is Small

The Golden God has shaved his heavenly head. He must have booked a movie about Steve Jobs.

If we can be completely superficial and more than a little parasocial for a second, there’s no arguing the fact that, out of all of the men in the core It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia cast, Glenn Howerton has — or, at least, had — the most incredible and manicured crop of hair. Given that his his competition is Danny DeVito, who has been bald on top since Batman Returns, Charlie Day, who always looks like he rolled out of his shared futon five minutes ago, and Rob McElhenney, who slicked back his own voluminous locks to look more like his buddy Ryan Reynolds at some point in the last few years, Howerton’s hair is (or was) the only five-star cut of the bunch.

Then, yesterday, Howerton posted a photo with his wife and D.E.N.N.I.S. system subject Jill Latiano that showed off his new look of near-baldness at the Sundance Film Festival, saying something nice about himself in the caption, “yes yes… my hair is small.”

Howerton’s many thirsty online admirers have long speculated that something is going on with his typically flowing mane, and the buzzcut reveal garnered mixed results from the minions. “WHY IS GLENN HOWERTON BALD,” one such tribute-payer demanded to know on Twitter.

“I usually hate it when men shave their heads, it’s so unattractive to me but somehow Glenn Howerton remains sooooo fine,” a different Howerton stan with the self-identification of “CharDen Truther” rated of the Golden God’s new look.

Another follower said simply of Howerton's latest post, “glenn howerton has shaved his head I repeat glenn howerton has shaved his head this is not a drill.”

Of course, Dennis-desirers already know that the last time Howerton cut his hair this short was when he was gearing up to play disgraced former BlackBerry CEO Jim Balsillie in the 2023 biographical comedy-drama film about the company’s meteoric rise and sudden fall. Howerton even allowed his co-star and former co-host Day to finish off the sides of the cut on an episode of The Always Sunny Podcast once filming on BlackBerry wrapped, and fans of Howerton’s impossibly perfect features rejoiced as the regrowth began.

Now, Howerton is back to the buzzed-off look, and, given that he was absent from so much of the shooting for the Always Sunny guest appearance on Abbott Elementary, the crossover episode “Volunteers,” due to a scheduling conflict with another production, the odds are high that the new look is another hair transformation for the sake of a starring role.

Or, alternatively, McElhenney got tired of being the only member of the Paddy’s Pub Gang to go through drastic physical transformations for the sake of a bit and this is the beginning of the “Bald Dennis” era.