The 14 Funniest Things Ever Thrown at Politicians

Glitter bombing is due for a comeback
The 14 Funniest Things Ever Thrown at Politicians

Edding and pieing are time-honored means of humiliating the powerful, but we want to celebrate the protesters who went above and beyond with sex toys, symbolism and some good old fashion pageantry.

William Howard Taft: A Whole Cabbage

Someone deigned to chuck a cabbage at William Howard “Bathtub’s Bane” Taft on the campaign trail, but ultimately set him up for a historic zinger: “I see that one of my opponents has lost its head.”

Richard Nixon: Half a Mexican Omelette

While Vice President, he was egged by protesters in Peru, then egged and tomatoed in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Two-Thirds of a Starbucks Order

In 2005, while Arnold was governating at a diner in Chico, California, he got tag teamed by a couple of protesters. One person threw a cup of small ice cubes and the other flung a crushed-up muffin, both of which he bravely ignored. Later, some bootlicker chased down his security detail to tell them he got a picture of the assailants.

Donald Trump Criminally Charged a Child for Throwing a Toy at His Car

In 2017, a middle schooler threw a two-inch by four-inch wooden block at the presidential motorcade as it headed to the airport. The literal child was apprehended and charges were filed with the Palm Beach County State’s Attorney’s Office.

Barack Obama: A Book and Full Frontal Nudity

During a 2010 rally, Obama was accosted by two apparent supporters. One guy threw a couple copies of a book he’d written at the president, hoping he would catch one and read it. At the same rally, a 24-year-old ran butt-naked as close to the president as he could get, in an attempt to win a million bucks from entrepreneur and asshole Alki David. David had made an open offer to anyone who would streak near the president, as a guerilla marketing campaign for his streaming platform. It’s comforting to know that the world has been this dumb for a long time.

Pat Buchanan: Salad Dressing

In 2005, this piece of shit advisor-to-the-stars (he guided some of the worst policies of Nixon, Ford and Reagan) got doused in salad dressing by an assailant who yelled, “Stop the bigotry!”

Glitter Had Quite a Moment in 2011

From 2011 to 2012, Newt Gingrich was glitter-bombed for gay rights, Ron Paul was glitter-bombed for housing and healthcare and Rick Santorum was glitter-bombed on five different occasions.

Throwing Yogurt Was Popular Among the Greeks, They Criminalized It for Decades

Yogurting politicians became so popular in the ‘50s, a specific law was written heavily penalizing the practice in 1958. It was repealed in 1983.

Beware the Biotic Baking Brigade

The Biotic Baking Brigade is a lefty guerrilla group that targets right-wing and corporate neolib villains, and counts Bill Gates, Ann Coulter, William F. Buckley and Gavin Newsom among their victims.

Governor Jim Douglas: Pied by Santa Claus

In 2008, Vermont Governor Jim Douglas was walking in a Fourth of July parade when an otherwise unassuming Santa Claus ran up and pied him in the face. Santa’s conscience got the better of him, and he later called himself “a disappointment to my community.” He was ordered to pay a donation to a food bank in the amount of Douglas’ drycleaning bill.

George W. Bush: Shoes

Before Luigi came along, journalist Muntadhar al-Zaidi was the patron saint of projectile protesting. In 2008, while Bush was giving a press conference in Baghdad, al-Zaidi threw both of his shoes at Dubya, yelling, “This is a farewell kiss from the Iraqi people, you dog!” Bush ducked out of the way of both shoes with a goofy grin on his face. To this day, if you tweet about the incident, there’s a high probability that al-Zaidi will see it and respond.

George W. Bush: A Freaking Grenade

While Bush was speaking in Tbilisi, Georgia, the world’s unluckiest man hurled a grenade at Bush and the Georgian President. It bounced off of some girl, causing it to both malfunction and land 60 feet away from its intended target. Old War Crimes McGee didn’t even hear about the attempt until the event was over.

Silvio Berlusconi: Milan’s Duomo Gothic Cathedral

This is probably the most effective, most cathartic political pelting in modern history. Someone wound up and hurled a heavy little statuette of the many-pointed cathedral at the Italian PM, breaking his nose and knocking out two of his teeth.

‘Dildogate’

The Treaty of Waitangi was a farcical treaty with the Māori people, signed in 1840, that colonists chose to ignore for a long time. So its yearly commemoration is often protested, and none more successfully than 2016’s Dildogate. A protester whipped a huge rubber hog at New Zealand MP Steven Joyce, perfectly planting a big ol’ mushroom stamp across his mouth.

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