14 Unhinged Couples That Are Anti-Relationship Goals
“Love is love.” Yes. Absolutely. 100 percent. Except, maybe stop dating convicted serial killers?
A Woman and Her Ghost Pirate Husband (Had a Contentious Divorce)
Amanda Large says that the ghost of a pirate started appearing at her bedside in 2014. The pirate, named Jack Teague, was executed for thievery in the 1700s, but nonetheless agreed to date her for two years before marrying her, via spiritual medium, in an open-sea wedding. But after their marriage, Large became chronically ill, and almost died of sepsis. Convinced that their energetic connection was draining her, she broke it off (although not before he possessed her body, requiring an exorcism).
Jack and Meg White: What Are We Doing Here Guys?
Jack White was actually born John Anthony Gillis, but took his wife’s last name when he and Meg White married in 1996. They divorced in 2000, and the Detroit Free Press dug up their marriage and divorce certificates in 2002, but these weirdos continue to pretend they’re a brother-sister duo to this day.
A Dude Ratted Out His Girlfriend When He Found Out He Was Demoted to Second String
A man named Tracey Tarlton was so in love with Celeste Johnson, he agreed to murder her millionaire sugar daddy husband. He kept quiet even after getting nabbed for the crime — until he found out that she remarried some other guy. Then he spilled every last bean to the feds.
A Guy Killed His Girlfriend’s Husband So He Could Move Up to Third String
An Italian man died immediately after sipping from a bottle of alcohol that had been gifted to him ostensibly by a sales partner. It turns out the bottle had actually come from his wife’s boyfriend, one of three separate affairs she was having. This guy was a veterinarian who pumped 500 deadly doses of a powerful poison into the bottle, and who was arrested because they tracked down the typewriter he used to write the gift note.
Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox Drink Each Other’s Blood (But Only on Special Occasions)
Fox has pushed back on the idea that they chug goblets of blood: “It’s just a few drops, but yes, we do consume each other’s blood on occasion for ritual purposes only.”
A Deadly Double Catfish
In 2007, a supposedly 18-year-old man going by the screenname MarineSniper struck up an online relationship with a fellow supposed teen going by Tallhotblonde. But MarineSniper turned out to be a 47-year-old man, and Tallhotblonde was, similarly, a middle-aged woman. When MarineSniper (real name: Thomas Montgomery) was outed by his wife, Tallhotblonde moved on to his coworker. When Montgomery found out, he murdered the new boyfriend.
The Hillside Strangler’s Girlfriend Tried to Take Over the Family Business
Kenneth Bianchi, known as the “Hillside Strangler,” struck up a pen pal relationship with several serial killer obsessors (known as “hybristophiles”). He convinced one of them to go do some hillside strangling, to make it look like the real killer was still at large. Her attack failed, and she was convicted of attempted murder.
A Teacher Got Her Underage Victim to Kill Her Husband
Pamela Smart, a media services director at a high school, was irate when she found out her husband had been cheating on her. So irate, in fact, that she had her own mister — a 15-year-old boy at her school — murder her husband. The boy and his friends got 28 years in prison, and Smart got life without parole.
Even a Serial Killer Has Her Standards
Susan Atkins was a prolific member of the Manson family, having been convicted of eight murders. She got married in prison to an absolute numbnuts “millionaire” named Donald Lee Lai$ure, but later had it annulled when she found out he wasn’t actually rich. She found love once again, six years later, marrying a Harvard Law student. They had 22 happy years together before her death in 2009.
A Guy Defended His Wife’s Honor With a Klingon Sword
Carlo Morris Cerutti’s wife got in an argument with their neighbor over garbage, culminating in the neighbor hurling a bag of trash at the woman. Cerutti then came to her aid and attacked his neighbor with a replica bat’leth — a double-sided scimitar from Star Trek.
Ted Bundy Used a Legal Loophole to Get Married at His Own Murder Trial
Bundy had previously requested to marry his suspiciously supportive girlfriend, Carole Ann Boone, in jail, but was denied. Since he famously (and clumsily) represented himself in court, he had a reporter smuggle in some nice clothes and a couple of rings, called Boone to the stand and proposed during questioning. Because it all went down in a courtroom, it was legally binding.
Mary Shelley’s Husband Was the Real Freak
It’s well known (and extremely metal) that Mary Shelley, the creator of Frankenstein, lost her virginity in a graveyard. But it’s her husband who’s the weirdo here. Percy Bysshe Shelley was an aspiring poet who was a big fan of Mary’s dad, political philosopher William Godwin. The dude had sex with his hero’s 17-year-old daughter, on his hero’s wife’s grave, while he was A) married, and B) old enough to know that might strike folks as a little weird.
The Menendez Brothers Have Three Wives Between Them
Erik Menendez got married to a hybristophile in Folsom Prison in 1999 — she recalls fondly “Our wedding cake was a Twinkie.” Older brother Lyle has had a more high profile, more tumultuous love life — he married model Anna Erikkson, who later divorced him because she found out about his other pen pals, then magazine editor-turned-attorney Rebecca Sneed.
Most-Married Man Marries Most-Married Woman
Glynn Wolfe was a Baptist minister who held the record for the most monogamous marriages (31). He snuck in one last wedding for the road in 1996, a year before his death, to Linda Taylor, the world’s most-married woman (29 marriages).
