‘Weird Al’ Yankovic Turned Down $5 Million Beer Deal to Protect Young Fans
“Weird Al” is worth about 20 million bucks, according to Celebrity Net Worth. While that’s a lot of scratch for you and me, the figure seems surprisingly low given his decades of popularity. As it turns out, if the polka parody king had played his cards differently, that Yankovic bankovich account could have been a lot fatter.
That’s because in 1990, “Weird Al” turned down a reported $5 million paycheck to endorse a beer company. Doesn’t seem like much? For perspective, Michael Jordan’s Nike deal in the 1980s was $2.5 million spread over five years. In today’s dollars, Yankovic would be turning down a $12 million deal. Had “Weird Al” taken that five million in 1990 and invested it in a run-of-the-mill mutual fund, he could have hung up his accordion for good.
Why walk away from that much cash? “I don’t have a whole lot of regrets,” Yankovic told Mojo Magazine via Celebitchy, even though “that was a lot of money.” The musical funny guy turned down the offer because “a lot of my fans were young and impressionable, so ethically I believe I did the right thing.”
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Good for “Weird Al” — although his songs don’t always live up to those honorable intentions. If he was worried that being associated with beer would corrupt the “young and impressionable,” how does Yankovic explain the lyrics to his song, “Happy Birthday”?
Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
At least he’s telling the kids to eat their vegetables while they’re enjoying a cold brew. But it’s not the only time “Weird Al” celebrates beer in his songs. What about “The Largest Ball of Twine in Minnesota,” sung from the point-of-view of a dad taking his (presumably young and impressionable) kids on the road for an epic vacation?
We parked the car and walked with awe-filled reverence
Toward that glorious, huge, majestic sphere
I was just so overwhelmed by its sheer immensity
I had to pop myself a beer
Not so protective now, eh, “Weird Al”? And it’s not just multiple songs with characters drinking beer — sometimes they go in for the hard stuff. Check out these lyrics from “The Night Santa Went Crazy”:
Down in the workshop all the elves were makin’ toys
For the good gentile girls and the good gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared ‘em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
His “Polka Face” medley has several drunk characters, including this inebriated interlude:
I’m not criticizing “Weird Al” for songs in which characters get their drink on. But if Yankovic was going to glorify boozing it up in his parodies, he probably should have cashed the big check. Some part of “Weird Al” thinks so too. “Not a day goes by,” he told Mojo years ago, “when I don’t think, ‘Hmm, an extra $5 million would really come in handy.’”
