Dave Chappelle Evacuates L.A. Fires in Goriest ‘SNL’ Sketch Ever
Saturday Night Live isn’t squeamish when it comes to blood. From Dan Aykroyd’s Julia Child accidentally opening a vein, to Phil Hartman’s roided-out weightlifter pulling off both his arms, to Kristen Wiig and Aidy Bryant misplacing some acupuncture needles, SNL’s corn-syrup-spurting machine has been put to good use over the past five decades. But somehow, Dave Chappelle found a way to take it up a notch last night, discovering new ways to make us squirm that didn’t involve Sarah Sherman.
The sketch takes place in the recent past, with Chappelle as an L.A. homeowner watching the news alongside his wife Ego Nwodim and son Devon Walker. Like many families in recent days, the crew goes into a panic when they receive a fire evacuation alert on their phones. It’s time to gather their most essential belongings.
Nwodim reminds everyone they prepared a go-bag ahead of time, but Chappelle has other necessities he needs to grab. First, he takes a sledgehammer to the living room wall, revealing a cavity in which he’s stashed a fake passport and a few hundred thousand dollars in cash. Where did the money come from? And who is “Demetrius Quinn,” the identity on the passport? No time to explain — they have to evacuate!
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Next up is a stash of firearms Chappelle has hidden behind a clock. He hands a heavy pistol to his son and asks if he knows how to use it. “No, Dad! I’m in high school, and I play the bassoon!” Chappelle apologizes to his kid for raising him soft before a Bosnian thug arrives to collect what he’s owed. (Don’t ask me — the sketch doesn’t bother to explain.) Now is the kid’s chance to learn how to use a gun. His shot hits the bad guy in the neck artery, splattering everyone in the sketch with copious amounts of blood.
Pretty gross, but we’re just getting started. Chappelle pulls a thumb drive out of the wall safe and instructs Nwodim to “Stick it in your cooch,” a directive she ignores. Chappelle keeps revealing secrets hidden in the household walls, including a second wife and set of kids he’s been keeping under wraps. What’s behind Chappelle’s other lives? There’s no time to explain — they got to get out of there!
But not without Buster, the family dog. Chappelle calls for the pup. “This is the core of love in our family. He’s a good boy,” he says. “And he’s got something very important in his stomach.” Crossing a boundary other bloody SNL sketches didn’t dare go near, Chappelle takes out a knife and guts the adorable (fake) pooch, spraying canine crimson everywhere. In an act of mercy, Dad makes the killing quick.
Or did he? The dog still has a little life left in him so Chappelle plunges the blade into the top of his furry head. PETA protests coming in 3, 2, 1…
After Chappelle pulls a phone from the dog’s innards and makes a phone call in Chinese, the family receives a second alert — the original evacuation notice was a false alarm.
Covered in blood, the family looks at Chappelle. “You passed my test,” he tells them. “Just got to be a little faster next time.”
