Dennis Stans Defend the Golden God After the ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Fandom Argues That He’s the Worst With Kids
Don’t let Dennis Reynolds’ decision to play hooky in this week’s episode of Abbott Elementary fool you — the Golden God is more than capable of molding young, antisocial minds in his image.
In the first part of the crossover between Abbott Elementary and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the main characters of the latter Philadelphian sitcom appeared on a very special episode of the former as adult “volunteers” looking to help out their community — or “a community,” as Ava Coleman put it. At the top of the highly anticipated and critically acclaimed Abbott episode, naturally titled “Volunteers,” Dennis from Always Sunny notices the diegetic film crew shooting the Abbott’s mockumentary and refuses to be recorded, slinking out of the shot for basically the rest of the episode while ominously stating, “I know quite a bit about filming and consent, and I think I’ll be spending my time on the other side of the camera, thank you very much.”
While two shows’ writers almost certainly wrote Dennis out of “Volunteers” to set up a darker, behind-the-scenes, not-fit-for-ABC plot line that will come to light when the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode featuring the other side of the same story comes out later this year, some Always Sunny fans have mistakenly reasoned that Dennis couldn’t be in the first part of the crossover because he can’t be around kids, due to the darkness of his soul.
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It’s like half the Always Sunny fandom forgot that the most powerful sociopath in the Always Sunny universe is, herself, a child:
As many of the Golden God’s disciples pointed out, in the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 12 episode “The Gang Goes to a Water Park,” Dennis effectively adopts a young conwoman while pretending to be a widower and single father to get laid at AquaMania, the aquatic recreation destination that the Paddy’s Pub Gang decided to ruin with their grown-up, slide-clogging bodies and their “vagina kind” of AIDS blood. The young Abby swindles Dennis out of $20 by pretending to be his bereaved daughter, prompting the two talented manipulators to pair up and take AquaMania for everything it’s got.
While Abby eventually backstabs Dennis and makes off with their entire bounty of stolen goods, Dennis’ time with the emerging “genius” marks the only time in the history of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia when Dennis actually did bring down the Hammer of Thor on someone else’s behalf, as he was so taken by Abby’s potential that what could be generously described as his “empathy” compelled him to confront Abby’s “mom” about her inability to nurture the master manipulator.
It’s simple probability that, with an estimated 1 to 4 percent of the population exhibiting symptoms of sociopathy or antisocial personality disorder, Willard R. Abbott Elementary School would have at least one Abby-type student whom Dennis would be happy to teach his ways if those intrusive cameras weren’t on him. And, clearly, Dennis isn’t the most child-unfriendly character on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, considering how Charlie and Mac may have murdered a child:
