Where Are They Now: 5 Famous Prosthetic Genitals
Historically, gender nudity inequality ran rampant in Hollywood, as most leading men were, perhaps understandably, reluctant to hang brain on screen. Thanks to advances in prosthetic technology, however, we can splash as many wangs as we want across the silver screen, safe in the knowledge that, like everything else on it, they’re only pretend. That’s right: It’s a new dong dawn.
But what happens to those fabled phalluses once they’ve served their purpose?
Nosferatu
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In one scene of 2024’s Nosferatu reboot, Nicholas Hoult gets a little too intimate with Bill Skarsgard’s title bloodsucker, later revealing to director Robert Eggers, “I could feel his prosthetic penis on my leg.” As a reminder of their special time together, Eggers framed the vampenis and sent it to Hoult after filming wrapped. In fact, it arrived broken, but a gift is a gift, so Hoult had to take the prosthesis that assaulted him to a framer who had a lot of questions.
Boogie Nights
The massive trouser snake worn by Mark Walhberg as porn star Dirk Diggler was a crowning achievement in fake dicks, and it would be a crime if it wasn’t treated as such. According to Wahlberg, “It’s not something I can leave out” in case his “kids are looking for the spare phone charger and pull that thing out,” but “it’s in a safe, locked away” with the rest of his fake manhood, like the terrorists he would have killed on 9/11.
Step Brothers
If you’ve ever threatened to put your nutsack on someone’s drum set — and if you haven’t, you should probably leave now — the prosthetic testicles worn by Will Ferrell in Step Brothers occupy a special place in your heart, and they do in his, too. He’s admitted that he keeps the $10,000 scrote in a “special cardboard box” that he often whips out for horrified dinner guests, who have mystifyingly not stopped coming over.
Vacation
According to Matthew Mungle, Oscar-winning makeup artist and shaft sculptor extraordinaire, Chris Hemsworth was sent home with the prosthetic he wore in 2015’s Vacation. “The word is he has it on his mantle at his house with the Thor hammer — so he’s got both hammers there,” Mungle explained. Considering Hemsworth also has minor children, Mungle might be mistaken, but it’s possible he has a secret member mantle room in his mansion.
Pam & Tommy
If you understandably passed on the 2022 miniseries Pam & Tommy, you missed out on Tommy Lee’s talking penis, played by Jason Mantzoukas and crafted by special effects makeup designer Jason Collins. In this case, the art was returned to the artist. “I keep the puppet penis as part of my asset build and safeguard it for production for reshoots or sequels,” he said.
Fingers crossed.
