Jay Leno Says the Mob Would Just Steal One of His Cars If He Actually Owed Them Money
While social media may think that Jay Leno’s latest catastrophic injury was the result of gambling debts owed to organized criminals, Leno says his only real gamble is continuing to tinker with vintage Ferraris when he’s 74 years old and on his third face.
Despite the glaring inconsistencies in the official story, the late-night comedy legend continues to insist that the nasty facial injury he suffered back in November came from nothing more than a tumble down a hill during an ill-conceived attempt at taking a shortcut to lunch. However, ever since Leno “fell down a hill” outside the Hampton Inn in Greensburg, Pennsylvania, the comedian’s misfortune has been the subject of rampant internet speculation and conspiracy theorizing, with the most popular and entertaining explanation being that the mafia must have followed Leno to one of his gigs and given him a nasty shiner after he lost big at an illicit poker game.
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Critically, none of the online detectives have gotten bogged down by asking themselves silly questions like, “Why would a man with a net worth of half a billion dollars need to gamble on credit?” or “Wouldn’t Leno just fly to Vegas if he wanted to gamble instead of sneaking into a backroom mob game?” but the subject of the conspiracy himself is a bit more pedantic than all these Twitter P.I.s. During his recent appearance on Club Random with Bill Maher, Leno invited his conspiracy-minded fans — and The National Enquirer — to wonder, if Leno owed the Cosa Nostra money, why wouldn’t the mob just repossess one of his approximately 4,000 Porsches?
As much as it’s morally repulsive to agree with Maher on anything, it’s hard not to watch this clip and think anything else besides, “Sure, Jay.”
Honestly, it’s a little suspicious that Leno already had all these excuses and explanations prepared when the topic of the apparently newsworthy theories about his injury history came up casually during the talk — it’s almost like Leno had someone hammering his lines about the string of “incidents” into him before he could speak to the media.
I’d ask Leno to blink twice if he’s under duress, but, after so many faces, blinking might be harder for him to do than letting Conan host The Tonight Show.
