A Rabbi Ranks All the Great Christmas Songs Written By Jews
One of the great curiosities of the holiday season is that so many of the best Christmas songs are written not by Christians, but by Jews. Not that there isn’t a very practical reason for this. According to Ohio-based Rabbi David Komerofsky, these musicians were just trying to make a living. “There are far more people buying Christmas music than purchasing Jewish holiday music,” he tells me.
As a man of both faith and an excellent sense of humor, Rabbi Komerofsky was kind enough to take a little time out of his busy holiday season and rank 15 of the most popular Christmas songs written by his fellow Jews.
‘White Christmas’ by Irving Berlin
“‘White Christmas’ is about as un-Jewish as a holiday song can get,” says Komerofsky. “I listen to holiday music from Thanksgiving until New Year’s, and it’s a special joy when this one comes on. White nationalists also like it because they understand ‘White Christmas’ in a different way.”
‘Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire’ by Mel Torme
Komerofsky says “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” is “pure, wholesome fun — and pure Americana.”
‘Let It Snow’ by Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne
“I can’t hear this song without thinking of Darrell Hammond’s portrayal of Sean Connery playing ‘Celebrity Jeopardy!’ on Saturday Night Live,” Komerofsky tells me. “The recurring joke in that sketch was Connery misreading the categories, and for ‘Let It Snow,’ he says, ‘I’ll take, ‘Le Tits Now’ — it’s French for ‘Show me your boobs!’”
‘Silver Bells’ by Ray Evans and Jay Livingston
“This song is quintessential Christmas shopping,” Komerofsky argues.
‘It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year’ by George Wyle and Eddie Pola
“It’s joyous, though I’ve never been involved in a Christmas celebration that had ‘gay, happy meetings’ or ‘scary ghost stories,’” says Komerofsky. “Scary ghost stories are obviously a Thanksgiving thing.”
‘Silver and Gold’ by Johnny Marks
“This one makes me think of the Rankin/Bass snowman character from Rudolph,” says Komerofsky. “Though, for all of the things for people to associate with Jews, sure, let’s go for silver and gold.”
‘A Holly, Jolly Christmas’ by Johnny Marks
“I have no complaints about this one. It’s festive,” Komerofsky tells me.
‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’ by Buck Ram and Walter Kent
“‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’ is just sweet,” says Komerofsky.
‘Walkin’ in a Winter Wonderland’ by Felix Bernard and Richard B. Smith
“It’s just rhyming, but I’m fascinated by the lyrics about people imagining the snowman as a minister (Parson Brown) and as a circus clown. For all the things for a kid to imagine who a snowman is, they’re going to pick a minister and a clown? That’s the sign of a bad childhood,” says Komerofsky. “Some deep trauma is going to come out in therapy.”
‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ by Johnny Marks
“It’s a cute song,” Komerofsky says.
‘I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm’ by Irving Berlin
“This one doesn’t seem very holiday-like for me,” Komerofsky complains. “I like that it’s Irving Berlin, but it’s about him schtupping his way through the holiday season.”
‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ by Frank Loesser
“I know I should probably be more offended by this song than I am, but I just don’t care what the neighbors say,” Komerofsky explains. “Sure, it’s cold outside, so why not stay inside and Roofie each other?”
‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’ by Johnny Marks
“Sounds like a hell of a party, but it’s just not for me,” Komerofsky says. “I don’t rock around any Christmas Trees.”
‘You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch’ by Albert Hague
“I love Thurl Ravencroft’s voice and it’s got some good verbiage in it, but I’ll usually flip to another holiday station when this one comes on in search of more joyous music,” Komerofsky maintains.
‘Santa Baby’ by Joan Javits and Phil Springer
“It’s just so creepy,” says Komerofsky. “I love Eartha Kitt as Catwoman, but this song is perverse. I don’t know if Joan Javits and Phil Springer were on Molly when they wrote it or what.”
