Nikki Glaser Is Already Picking Out the Targets She’s Going to Roast at the Golden Globes
The 2025 Golden Globes are only two weeks away, meaning it’s time for host Nikki Glaser to sharpen her monologue knives. “I’m not out for blood. I want everyone to have a good night,” Glaser told People. “I am really in service of the people that are being honored there.”
Sure, right, blah blah blah. But seriously, Glaser, who are you going to carve up first? “I want Cynthia Erivo or Ariana Grande or Nicole Kidman to feel safe in my hands,” she protested.
Fine, keep Nicole Kidman safe. But surely you have some targets in mind, right? As it turns out, Glaser does. “Joker 2 didn’t get any nominations. Not that anyone thought it would,” she said. “But it was such a cultural moment of us being disappointed.”
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And while she wants to keep the Wicked stars safe, Glaser can’t ignore the weird interview with Out.com when Grande grabbed Erivo’s finger and kept tapping it. “That is all up for grabs,” the comic admitted. “And the fact that Ariana and Cynthia are in on the joke now, has made it a lot more accessible. That is up for grabs. At the same time you’re like, ‘Is that going to be funny in a month?’” (Note to Glaser: I barely remember it now.)
Glaser went through a list of other potential roast targets:
- “Emilia Pérez being the most nominated thing. No one’s ever heard of it!”
- “What's a fresh way to make fun of the fact that The Bear is nominated as a comedy and yet maybe shouldn't be?” (Another note to Glaser: That angle has been beaten into the ground — move on.)
- “Meryl Streep seems to have a good sense of humor based on other award shows I’ve watched. I’ve been studying who has good reaction shots (to jokes).”
But Glaser promises she’s not going to let it rip, Ricky Gervais-style. “Ricky Gervais earned the ability to get up there and say, ‘I don’t care. I’m going to tell you how I feel,’ because that was his last time hosting (in 2020),” Glaser pointed out. “He didn’t want the gig again. He was down to burn bridges.”
Revisionist history. It’s true that Gervais had no effs left to give during his fifth and final hosting appearance in 2020, but he didn’t exactly hold back in the previous years. In 2010, he ripped Steve Carell for getting credit for his jokes, accusing the American Office of jumping the shark. He let the crowd have it as well: “Just looking at all the faces here reminds me of some of the great work that’s been done this year… by cosmetic surgeons.”
Not to mention:
- In 2011: “I’d like to quash this ridiculous rumor going round that the only reason The Tourist was nominated was so the Hollywood Foreign Press could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That is rubbish. That is not the only reason. They also accepted bribes.”
- In 2012: “The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton. A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker and more easily bought. Allegedly. Nothing’s been proved.”
- In 2016: “The excellent Spotlight has been nominated. The Catholic Church is furious about the film as it exposes the fact that five percent of all their priests have repeatedly molested children and been allowed to continue to work without punishment. Roman Polanski called it the best date movie ever.”
The Golden Globes clearly love a roast, Nikki Glaser. So don’t be afraid to take off the gloves. If anything, Gervais proved it’s the best way to get asked back again.
