I Was Jerry’s Longest-Running Girlfriend on ‘Seinfeld’

While George had Susan and Elaine had Puddy, Jerry’s girlfriends on Seinfeld rarely lasted more than an episode. There was, however, one exception: Rachel, played by Melanie Smith, who appeared in four episodes of the show at the end of Season Five. 

While you’d never call the relationship “serious,” Rachel was introduced in “The Raincoats,” a two-parter in which she infamously made out with Jerry during Schindler’s List, only to come back to catch George’s shrinkage in “The Hamptons” and amicably break up with Jerry in “The Opposite.” Moreover, Smith also returned for Curb Your Enthusiasm, where she played an ex of Larry’s who was a survivor of incest.

I recently caught up with Smith to talk about her memories from both Seinfeld and Curb as well as who she thinks would be the better date — Jerry or Larry.

When you got the part on Seinfeld, did you know it was going to be for multiple episodes?

No. I got hired for the two-part special, but then, toward the end of “The Raincoats,” they called me and asked, “If we write for you, will you stay?” and I said, “Yeah.” 

Do you have any specific memories from “The Raincoats”?

I was hired pretty close to the table read, and it was a rush to get my wardrobe. They ushered me in, and everybody was running around. Finally, I just said, “Everybody has to stop.” Everybody stopped and looked at me, and I said, “If you all can introduce yourselves and tell me what your job is and who I need to listen to, I would appreciate it.” So, they all came up — Larry Charles, Larry David, etc. — and explained what they did.

Later, when I was in the makeup chair, Jerry came in laughing and said, “Who are you? Who tells everybody on set to stop to introduce themselves?” I said, “Well, it’s just polite. I don’t know anybody, and they’re all talking at me. I don’t know who the director is or who the DP is or anybody.”

What do you remember about “The Hamptons”?

When we did the scene where I walked into the bedroom, the part where I laughed and looked down was ad-libbed. It was just written as “I’m so sorry” and I left. But Larry loved my addition to it, and he said, “Can you keep that in?”

Your breakup scene in “The Opposite” was also very funny.

The whole concept of that flip — where everything goes wrong for Elaine and everything is right for George and everything is even Steven for Jerry — was just so funny.

You were one of the first people to appear on both Seinfeld and Curb. Did it help that you’d been on Seinfeld?

Oh definitely. Larry offered it to me. I’m also very good friends with (Curb executive producer) Bob Weide who I’d known years before I ever worked on Seinfeld. I was actually one of the five people who got to see the pilot to name it with Larry and Bob.

What do you mean?

Larry asked Bob to come up with this mockumentary special. Bob started working on it, and I talked with him during all of that. Then Bob called me one day and said, “We’re trying to name it, and we’re going to do a screening with just five people.” Maybe it was seven of us, but it was just a few people with Bob and Larry.

It was in a screening room, and we were given a sheet of paper with maybe 12 names. We all checked off which one we wanted. Pretty much everyone said Curb Your Enthusiasm.

You encountered Larry in both the Seinfeld setting and the Curb setting, was he the same in both?

One hundred percent. Larry is Larry. He’s neurotic and funny and intense and quirky. He’s just Larry. 

You’ve played characters that dated both Larry and Jerry, who do you think would be the better date?

I don’t think I’d date either one! Jerry asked me out on a date, and I said, “No.” They’re neurotic. They’re intense. They’re wonderful, but I wouldn’t date them.

Finally, is Schindler’s List an okay movie to make out to?

No! Well, maybe on the third time you’ve seen it, but it shouldn’t be getting you hot.