14 Accidentally Inappropriate Foreign Towns and City Names
From Penistone to Assling, from Shitterton to Cumbum… Americans shouldn’t be allowed to travel anywhere.
Horní Police
“Police” means “shelf” in Czech, referring to its geographical flatness, and “horni” means “upper.” All 700 people in this small town were given free premium accounts on PornHub in 2018, against the wishes of the deputy mayor.
Pussy
This is a small village in France with an extremely yonic history. In the Roman era, it was known as Pusiacum, which referred to its ownership by a guy named Pussius.
Shitterton
As far as historians can tell, this place may actually be named after shit. The nearby Shiter Brook means “brook used as a privy,” and the local stream runs into the River Piddle. The chairman of the parish council in 2012 defended the name: “Those of us who live here are not the least bit embarrassed by it.”
Shit
There are at least three villages in Iran called شيت, or Shit. Narc-ass footer notes will tell you it can also be Romanized as “Sheet,” but don’t listen to them.
Twatt
There are two different Scottish settlements called Twatt. The term comes from the Old Norse word þveit, meaning “small parcel of land.” Every other place in the British isles has translated it to “Thwaite,” except for these two stubborn Twatts.
Dildo
Dildo Island is one of three islands at the entrance to Dildo Tip in the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labrador. It also refers to the nearby town of Dildo, located on Trinity Bay’s Dildo Arm. There’s a chance this was intentional — “dildo” had referred to dong-shaped things about 200 years before they named all those Canadian Dildos (and the Dildo arm is strikingly dildo-shaped).
Prickwillow
This British village is, appropriately, known for its cutting-edge drainage techniques, as the boggy land sits mostly below sea level.
Assling
Assling is a gorgeous hillside community in Austria whose name sounds like what a Guinness bro says when he sees his buddy order a Yuengling.
Cumbum
This Indian town in Andhra Pradesh is home to Cumbumb Lake, one of the oldest human-made lakes in the country. Appropriately, it’s known for irrigation — the Cumbum Tank was designated a UNESCO World Heritage Irrigation Structure in 2020.
Fingringhoe (Fingering Hoe)
This is a naughty little parish in Essex, England. It technically means “people who dwell on the finger of land.”
Nedumbassery
In some ways, this suburb of the Indian city of Kochi does produce dumbassery, as the local English-language high school is known for graduating many future government bureaucrats.
Bitchfield
Originally known as Billesfelt in an 11th century survey of England, somewhere along the way they changed it to sound like it’s Neville Longbottom’s fictional hometown in an early draft of Harry Potter. The Lower Bitchfield parish church is dedicated to St. Mary Magdalene, which is a nice gesture that she’s probably sick of explaining to the other Saints.
Penistone
This British town was originally called Pangeston, meaning “the farmstead at the hill called Penning,” but it was slowly dick-icized over the centuries. Its modern name begs the question: What tone would a penis make if it worked like a wind instrument?
Jizzakh
We have our answer! This is a city in Uzbekistan, the name of which comes (if you will) from a word meaning “small fort.” It also sounds like the noise a fleshy kazoo might make.
