Howdy Ho! Here's Why 'South Park' Fans Are Rushing To Aldi This Christmas Season
Right now, South Park fans across the world are flocking to their local Aldi for some unusual Christmas shopping – let’s hope they stay away from the discount Ambien.
December is upon us, which means that it’s time for everyone to promote non-denominational, politically correct “holiday season” messaging in their schools and small towns. Around this time of year, right-wing news outlets begin their annual tradition of raging against the War on Christmas, pointing to generic, inoffensive, holiday-branded consumer products from mega-corporations like Starbucks as evidence that there is a conspiracy to obscure the true reason for the season. But, thankfully, a growing number of South Park fans have found a way to fight back against mass-produced idolatry and remind everyone of the real meaning of Christmas: high-fiber diets.
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Some crafty South Park fans have discovered that a generic snowman holiday trimming sold in Aldi locations across the world is shaped exactly like a certain secular Christmas mascot, leading to decoration defecation:
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The “Turn the Aldi snowman into Mr. Hankey” trend seems to have started in the Facebook group “Aldi Aisle of Shame Community,” when artist and visionary Phill Briggs posted his process photos of a homemade Mr. Hankey early last week with the title, "I can’t be the only one painting a Christmas Poo on my kitchen table on a Monday night. Hoping to have him done by Thanksgiving." While some nitpicking, no-fiber-eating naysayers criticized Briggs for writing out Mr. Hankey's catchphrase as “Hidey Ho!” instead of the usual “Howdey Ho!” many hundreds of Mr. Hankey believers took inspiration from Briggs' paint project and posted their own results within hours of the original post.
“My husband and I were going to play Scrabble after Thanksgiving dinner. Plans changed! Now, I am on my way to get an Aldi snowman and paint,” one appreciative fan wrote of Dupré's now-viral crafts project.
Another Aldi shopper added a photo of their own results, showing twin Mr. Hankeys, with the comment, “I saw this post first thing this morning. Immediately, I asked my sweet husband if he would go to town and get me a couple of the snowman porch signs. My closest Aldi is 20 minutes away. He asked if I was messing with him. I usually am when he first wakes up. He's easy prey. No sir. I'm serious this time. He is the absolute best.”
Before long, the entire Aldi Aisle of Shame Community page was overrun with freshly painted Mr. Hankeys as the thrifty shoppers of the South Park community came together with their families to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. However, and although Briggs' ingenuity has led to the creation of countless priceless and wholesome moments between crafty Aldi enthusiasts and their loved ones, we must advise caution to anyone looking to paint their own Mr. Hankey – keep him out of your coffee.
