10 of the Absolute Worst Movies to Watch With Your Parents While You’re Home for the Holidays
It’s a classic awkward moment: You’re home for the holidays, watching a movie with your parents, when disaster strikes. You popped on what, in your memory, was an entirely unobjectionable film, only to realize in real time that there’s a graphic, loud sex scene. Now you’re watching two people pump away on an old flat-screen, with sex sounds being pumped out of their Bose Wave.
Here’s one easy, but maybe not recommended way to avoid this uncomfortable ambush: choose a movie that unquestionably is going to be horrible to watch with them from start to finish. I’ve included 10 great suggestions below…
Terrifier (Any)
You could tell them it’s a funny movie about a clown, and not be technically wrong. It might be — if they were just completely different people.
Ichi the Killer
Explaining to your parents that “no, the violence is the point” and them not googling if they can send an adult child to military school.
Eraserhead
Not only is it horrifying and gross, it’s also incredibly confusing. You’re going to have to explain to your dad three times why he feels so sick.
Audition
Takashi Miike is cleaning up! Speaking of which, good luck deciding who’s going to take out the trash afterwards.
Kids
Sex and violence, sometimes together, and to make it all worse, all happening between children. Basically screening your parents’ worst nightmares for them and asking, “So what’d you think?” Extra points if you live in New York now.
Titane
You thought sex scenes were awkward? Wait until you have to explain why and how this one involves a car.
Cannibal Holocaust
Yeah, you’re probably going to have to put this in a fake DVD box to even get it halfway to their Blu-ray player. I recommend pretending it’s The Sting. If you’ve never heard of The Sting, all you need to know is that your dad will 100 percent want to watch it.
Dirty Dancing
Trust me, you don’t want to see the changes in your mom’s body language while she watches Patrick Swayze dance.
Pokemon: The First Movie
Imagine your parents take you to see this opening day in 1998, and then 26 years later, in your mid-30s, you ask if you can watch it again. Incredible long-burn bit. Your dad is going to be in his armchair making a face like he’s trying to pass a kidney stone.
3 Guys, 1 Hammer
Famous Russian snuff films aren’t something you watch in the family room. They’re something you watch on the attic computer after following a weird link on Rotten.com, and then you try to have dinner like you’re not different now.
