Pamela Hayden’s Most Cromulent Milhouse Moments from ‘The Simpsons’

There are so many to choose from
Pamela Hayden’s Most Cromulent Milhouse Moments from ‘The Simpsons’

As Simpsons fans are well aware, legendary voice actress Pamela Hayden recently announced her retirement. Hayden, of course, provided the voices of characters like Jimbo Jones, Rod Flanders, and, of course, Bort.

But, most famously, Hayden gave life to Bart’s bespectacled, blue-haired best friend Milhouse Van Houten, who first debuted in a 36-year-old Simpsons Butterfinger commercial that actually predated the series. 

Reportedly, Sunday’s non-Halloween “Treehouse of Horror” episode will be Hayden’s last. So far there has been no announcement concerning the future of Hayden’s characters, including Milhouse. Will they recast him? Write him out of the show? Have him come down with a case of laryngitis that just never goes away?

Rampant speculation aside, Hayden seems pretty irreplaceable. To underscore that bittersweet point, here are some of the great Milhouse moments that wouldn’t have worked nearly as well with another actor:

‘Why Did I Have the Bowl, Bart?’

Milhouse reminding Bart of the time that Santa’s Little Helper ate his goldfish, and Bart lied about it, isn’t the funniest joke on paper. But Milhouse’s emphatic “Why did I have the bowl, Bart?” turns it into an iconic Simpsons scene.

‘Remember Alf?’

Had the punchline been delivered differently, nobody would remember this scene, it would have just been a throwaway reference to a goofy ‘80s sitcom. But Hayden’s delivery of “Remember Alf, he’s back in pog form” has been permanently seared into many a Simpsons fan’s consciousness. Which is probably why they made Alf Pogs for real last year (possibly in exchange for the souls of small children).

‘Do I?!’

 

This is barely even a joke, but after Marge angrily storms out of the house, Homer asks Milhouse if he knows how to cook dinner. He responds, “Do I?!” and it’s absolutely hilarious.

‘My Mom Says I’m Cool’

It doesn’t get much more pathetic than this.

‘I Have a Horsie’

Or does it?

‘My Dad’s a Pretty Big Wheel Down at the Cracker Factory’

Milhouse’s respect for his objectively pitiful dad is actually really sweet.

‘Everything’s Coming Up Milhouse!’

Perhaps the character’s defining line, “Everything’s coming up Milhouse!” is another example of a gag — Milhouse complains about flood pants only to discover that they work during a flood — that likely wouldn’t have been too memorable were it not for the earnest line reading. Milhouse wasn’t even in the episode up to that point, but it’s easily the funniest part.

‘This Is What it Feels Like When Doves Cry’

Milhouse meeting Shelbyville’s Milhouse and randomly referencing Prince is hands down the character’s greatest moment. 

It does kind of seem like nobody else could ever play Milhouse. Especially now that Mickey Rooney has passed away.

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