An Arizona Election Official Is Already Roasting Rob Schneider
Of all the roles Rob Schneider has played throughout his career — a European gigolo, The Makin’ Copies Guy on SNL, the very mediocre dude in The Hot Chick — there’s one part the controversial comedian isn’t ready to tackle: Someone who passed high school civics.
Hours ahead of the 2024 presidential election, Schneider took a break from desperately trying to earn his next Fox News appearance to take aim at Zach Schira, the executive director of Maricopa County in Arizona, for telling local news outlets that it “might take a few days” to officially call the race.
Though Schira noted that “the majority of ballots will be counted within the first 24 hours after the polls close” and that a few-day wait would be “normal” considering his state’s historically close contests, Schneider refused to listen, instead heading to Twitter with a Caps-Lock-fueled diatribe.
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“DEAR Assistant County Manager Zach Schira,” he began his Boomer-y rant. “As a resident of the great State of Arizona and more importantly a United States Citizen, WAITING DAYS FOR THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTION IN MARICOPA COUNTY IS UNACCEPTABLE. We are NOT some BANANA REPUBLIC, WE ARE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.”
He then turned the tweet onto himself, threatening to go all Schwarzenegger on the Grand Canyon State: “I will do EVERYTHING in my power to have ELECTION OFFICIALS THIS NEXT ELECTION CYCLE THAT CAN COUNT ALL BALLOTS BY THE END OF THE SAME DAY OF VOTING. Even if I have to run and become Governor myself.”
Despite Schneider’s apparent gubernatorial ambitions, Maricopa County Supervisor Thomas Galvin had a better idea for how the Hot in Cleveland guest star could speed up the vote sorting process: Count the ballots himself.
“Rob, thanks for watching the press conference,” he replied to the actor. “Maricopa County expects 400,000 ballot envelopes will be dropped off today. Those have to be verified, opened, & then 800,000 pages will be fed into tabulators. We have room if you want to help, Rob. You can do it!”
Schneider, of course, has yet to accept Galvin’s challenge, opting instead to spend the rest of his day sharing transphobic nonsense, retweeting Charlie Kirk and taking several jabs at Oprah.
Rob, you really can do it, my man. Or maybe we should put it in terms you’ll really understand: ROB, you REALLY CAN do IT, my MAN.
