Here’s the Dirty Phrase Fox Censors Wouldn’t Allow on ‘The Simpsons’ This Week
Possibly because the current writing staff of The Simpsons is secretly in the pocket of Big Jean, the stand-out segment of this year’s “Treehouse of Horror” episode was a pants-based tale called “Denim.” The Venom parody found Homer bonding with a symbiotic pair of alien jeans, and seducing Marge who, in this story, works as a server at “Irv’s Non-Canonical Diner.” Although it still somehow managed to be less ridiculous than the actual Venom franchise.
The episode justifiably earned acclaim for its unusual visual style, which combined the traditional Simpsons 2D look with stop-motion animation created by Stoopid Buddy Stoodios (of Robot Chicken fame), which brought the titular fabric to life.
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In addition to its boundary-pushing aesthetic, “Denim” also stretched the limits of prime-time cartoon sexiness. As writer and co-showrunner Rob LaZebnik pointed out, the scene in which Marge tries in vain to get Homer out of his alien pants while the two are making out on the couch “may be as sexy as The Simpsons has ever gotten.”
But this scene was very nearly even racier, thanks to one phrase that was ultimately cut from the show.
The otherworldly jeans refuse to separate from Homer’s body, because they “will perish.” But the creature assures Homer, “Don’t worry, I will help you complete your mating ritual.” We then see Homer and Marge lying in bed, seemingly post-coital. But it’s soon revealed that they’re still mostly dressed. “That was the most amazing outercourse of my life,” Marge declares.
“I like to think I’m something of an expert at friction-based rub-a-dub,” Homer responds.
According to showrunner Matt Selman, Marge’s line in the script was supposed to be more descriptive. “We cut to them in bed satisfied — the original line was, ‘That was the best dry humping of my life.’ But then we couldn’t say ‘dry humping.’”
Of course, it could be argued that “outercourse” and “friction-based rub-a-dub” sounds even dirtier than “dry humping.” (Selman even admitted that “sometimes the replacement is equally funny.”) But this is far from the first time that the Fox censors have taken issue with The Simpsons’ depiction of Homer and Marge’s sex life. When the show devoted an episode to the subject with Season Nine’s “Natural Born Kissers,” the network uncharacteristically criticized the entire premise.
Then-showrunner Mike Scully recalled the “controversy” during the episode’s DVD commentary, noting that it was the “only time I ever got a call from Fox. … They actually suggested possibly not doing the episode. They were really worried about the sexual content and the nudity and how it was going to be handled.”
And censors seemingly objected to the degree of nakedness during an intimate moment from Season Six’s “Grampa vs Sexual Inadequacy.” The same scene was later aired uncut as part of the “hardcore nudity”-filled closing credits of Season Seven’s “The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular.”
At this point, Homer and Marge have been married for over three decades, can’t the network just let them either be naked or dry hump in peace?
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