‘Seinfeld’ Sleuths on Reddit Think They’ve Discovered Newman’s First Name
Redditor rj_sherbs was apologetic even as they asked the question to the r/Seinfeld subreddit. “Sorry if this has been asked before,” the post read, but “what do you think Newman’s first name is?”
Cue the smart-ass replies!
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As Newman’s first name was notoriously never revealed on Seinfeld (or was it? — see below), the question prompted plenty of half-joking answers. The most popular? “Postal Employee Newman,” the name given by a supervisor who catches Newman warning Kramer to walk away from his plan to cancel all his mail. Of course, “Postal Employee” is a title or honorific, not the monicker bestowed by Mama Newman.
“Hello,” as in “Hello Newman” was also a popular response. Again, clearly not his given name but to the uninitiated, a sensible guess.
Plenty of internet comedians suggested first names already taken by real-life Newmans, including Paul, Randy and Alfred E. Several others suggested that the postal carrier’s first name was right in front of us all along — Newman. It’s his last name that remains a mystery.
The best stab at an actual answer? That’s Norman, called out by a woman who appeared to have known Newman intimately.
In the episode, “The Bottle Deposit,” Newman finds himself stranded on a farm in the middle of nowhere. A farmer offers the postman a place to stay for the night, along with a hot bath, a hearty meal and a clean bed. The farmer has only one rule: “Keep your hands off my daughter.”
Newman, of course, can’t help himself. The episode ends with Newman escaping the farmhouse, making a hasty getaway in undone trousers. The farmer fires his shotgun in Newman’s direction as his daughter, also in a state of undress, wrestles for the weapon. “No, Daddy, you’ll hurt him. I love him! Goodbye, Norman!”
Case closed. “Has to be Norman,” wrote user beavis617. “That’s what the Farmers daughter called him, and they were way past first names.”
“The farmer’s daughter wasn’t making a mistake,” agreed Bitter_Kiwi_9352.
Plus, the name rang true, at least to Not_a_porn_account: “Norman Newman is dumb enough to be real and have him not tell anyone because it sounds funny.”
But the mystery still isn’t solved. As users like smugfruitplate rightly point out, Karen Lynn Scott, the actress who played the farmer’s daughter, simply goofed up by shouting “Goodbye Norman!” instead of “Goodbye, Newman!” Seinfeld producers thought it was funny that Newman’s would-be lover never quite got his name and decided to leave in the mistake.
Goodbye, Norman Newman. We never got a chance to know you.
