5 Sharks That Are Perfectly Harmless, So No Need to Close the Beach
If someone at the beach yells “shark,” it’s unlikely someone else is yelling back, “What kind?” Everybody is probably scrambling for shore without any curiosity about the species in question — a survival instinct that’s generally aided humans well. That’s because, when we think of sharks, we think of the kind that attack. Those certainly are the ones that get the most coverage, with friendly sharks getting precious little airtime come Shark Week.
There are, though, a variety of sharks that can be not only safe, but pleasant to swim next to. Here are five of those full-on sweethearts…
Whale Shark
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A whale shark anywhere near the beach’s edge, given their size, is a much bigger problem for the shark than the swimmers. They’re the largest fish in the ocean, at 45 feet long and 41,000 pounds. Now, sure, on its face, the idea of a 40,000-pound shark does seem threatening, the kind of thing that could eat you in one bite. Except, they can’t bite, because they don’t have teeth. They’re filter feeders like whales, so the biggest threat they pose is accidentally swimming into their mouth and bouncing off their baleen.
Even if they did have the teeth of their cousins, they’re friendly and gentle, with tourists often welcome to swim beside them.
Greenland Shark
Are Greenland sharks dangerous? It seems the answer is no, with zero verified reported attacks on humans. Are they unsettling? That’s an arguable yes. First of all, they’re the longest living vertebrate, living literal hundreds of years. Sizewise, they’re no whale shark, but are a little bigger than a great white. Their meat is also toxic, which probably helps with the whole “living for hundreds of years” thing.
Speaking of meat, these sharks are indeed carnivores, so theoretically they could attack humans, but they’re perfectly content to do their own thing and let us do ours. I wouldn’t recommend trying to pet one, though.
Leopard Shark
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Right off the bat, leopard sharks are a whole lot less threatening based purely on their weight class. Unlike the multiple-ton behemoths above, they punch in right around 40 pounds. On top of not exactly being equipped to win a fight, they're also non-aggressive, and are more likely to run away than you are. You’re probably in more danger walking by a poorly socialized Shih-Tzu than you are a leopard shark.
Bamboo Shark
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If even the little Leopard Shark still sends chills down your spine, may I offer you the adorable creature known as the bamboo shark. Forget 40 pounds, you could easily weigh these guys on a deli scale. The biggest bamboo sharks are no more than maybe 4 feet long, and they’re the only animal on this list that you could feasibly keep as a pet (if you’re not a supervillain, that is). They’re so little and adorable that the stupid part of my brain is trying to tell me, “They’re not really a shark, then, are they?”
Basking Sharks
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The basking shark feels like a straight-up prank. First of all, their appearance is much closer to the better-known species of sharks associated with beach-wide terror, except bigger. If you saw what looked like a 36-foot, 4.5-ton shark swimming at you, you’d probably piss your swim trunks. Then it would open its mouth and you’d realize that, like the whale shark, it's a filter feeder with no teeth at all. Nature just got your ass good.
To make things worse? They feed on plankton close to the surface, meaning they’re probably popping that trademark shark fin above water and scaring the bejesus out of everyone while they suck down clouds of dust-sized food.
