‘SpongeBob SquarePants’ Fans Are Pissed at Wendy’s for Breaking This Sacred Rule

If Plankton is the primary antagonist of SpongeBob SquarePants for constantly trying to copy the precious Krabby Patty formula, then what does that make the burger chain that’s about to defile it?

Every old-school SpongeBob fan knows the basic recipe behind a Krabby Patty — first bun, then patty, followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes and bun, in that order. Similarly, every SpongeBob die-hard will know the secret behind the patty planted by the late series creator Stephen Hillenburg, and we’re not talking about love. No, Hillenburg insisted that, in order to keep the internal logic of his underwater kids’ show intact, the iconic Krabby Patty must be a veggie burger, as there are no cows under the sea and no non-anthropomorphized animals whom the series could swap out without straining reason or inflicting trauma on young vegetarians.

More than that, Hillenburg himself was ironically anti-fast food as a whole, and the SpongeBob creator was insistent that his characters should never hawk actual burgers and fries full of non-love additives to real-life children. So, when Wendy’s unveiled their “Krabby Patty Meal” featuring the flagship food and characters of SpongeBob that will hit their restaurants today, SpongeBob fans wondered whether the price of the deal factored in all the shovels and man-hours Wendy’s used to turn Hillenburg over in his grave.

Now, contrary to what the many Wendy’s-apologists who are currently roasting the above SpongeBob fans may say, these Hillenburg fans are simply sticking by the man’s words as they object to the non-vegetarian “Krabby Patty” that Wendy’s is currently marketing to kids. In a 2004 interview with The New York Times promoting The SpongeBob SquarePants movie, Hillenburg lamented the state of kid-focused marketing as it relates to nutrition. “The trouble is that you can’t go out with animated films without a fast-food tie-in,” Hillenburg admitted. “We shouldn’t do that.”

“In the show, the whole point of the fast food — the fact that SpongeBob loves being part of the fast-food chain, and that being a manager is his ultimate dream: it’s ironic,” Hillenburg explained of the in-universe importance of fast food. “It’s something that most people don’t think is a great thing to try to achieve. And we didn’t want to suddenly become the people serving up food that’s not that good for you — especially kids. We work with Burger King, and they make toys and watches. But to actually take the step of pushing the food, that’s crossing the line. I don’t want to be the Pied Piper of fast food."

Of course, in fairness to the contemporary critics of the Hillenburg doctrine, the SpongeBob creator’s rules about fast food tie-ins — that the restaurant partner shouldn’t market the food like it’s actual Krusty Krab fare, and that the characters should never come in contact with the food — seem like arbitrary loopholes that allow for fast-food companies to explicitly use SpongeBob to sell unhealthy food to kids while giving the show an air of responsibility and conscience as they cash their checks.

Then again, isn’t the entire point of the Krusty Krab business model that the restaurant should do anything for a buck whether or not it’s remotely moral? Maybe, when Hillenburg passed away, Mr. Krabs took over the brand deals.