Have Any ‘Simpsons’ Fans Actually Named Their Babies Bort?

As of this week, it’s been 30 years since the Simpson family visited the Violent-ist Place on Earth: Itchy & Scratchyland. The Season Six episode is fondly remembered for a not-so-subtle dig at the sordid life of Walt Disney, as well as its joke about the sad state of John Travolta’s career, which only made sense for about two weeks before it was ruined by the release of Pulp Fiction. 

Don’t worry, it worked again once Battlefield Earth came out a few years later.

Also, is there anyone amongst us who can park their car in a crowded lot without remarking: “Now remember, we’re in the Itchy lot.”

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But perhaps the most iconic moment from “Itchy & Scratchyland” is when Bart tries to buy a personalized novelty license plate, only to find that “Bart” isn’t an option; “Bort,” on the other hand, is. And the name turns out to be surprisingly common.

So much so that the gift shop eventually runs out of Bort license plates altogether.

Given that we live in a world full of hundreds of children named “Khaleesi” and at least one kid named “Luke Skywalker,” that begs the question: Have any Simpsons fans ever named a baby Bort?

Multiple websites, including FirstCry Parenting, Mama Natural and Baby Names Direct, list “Bort” among their catalog of baby names, suggesting that it means “fortified” or “he who comes from a fortified place.” 

But there doesn’t seem to be any evidence that there was a boom in baby Borts, post-1994. In 2014, a journalist for The Calgary Herald dug through 34 years of local birth records, “hoping to find at least one Bort,” but they were ultimately unsuccessful. And the U.S. Social Security Administration doesn’t list Bort in the top 1,000 baby names for any year after 1900. 

That said, Bort isn’t an uncommon surname, and according to the Dictionary of American Family Names, it originated as a Jewish “nickname for a man with a remarkable beard,” combining the Yiddish for beard, “bord” with the German translation, “bart.” It’s been used in first names, as was the case with Børt-Erik Thoresen, who I’m sure we don’t have to tell you, was a famous Norwegian folk singer.

Simpsons fans on Reddit once discussed this very issue, but no one admitted to having ever named an actual human infant “Bort” — although one person did reveal that they had a dog named Bort.

Despite the glaring lack of real-life Borts, as Slate reported in 2014, acquiring “Bort” vanity plates from the DMV can be quite competitive, making owners of Bort plates “members of one of America’s most exclusive and nerdiest clubs.”

Similarly, Universal Studios’ Simpsons gift shop makes sure to include the name “Bort” on a number of personalized souvenirs. And they really do seem to sell out a lot.

But again, from what I can tell at least, there don’t seem to be any Simpsons-inspired Borts out there. Hopefully, the next generation of young parents will see this article and rectify things.

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