The Nine Best Jokes From Last Night’s Emmy Awards
Not a lot of earth-shattering moments at last night’s Emmy Awards, but at least there were a handful of good jokes. In between Shogun and Hacks taking home the night’s major awards, here were the evening’s nine best punchlines and funniest moments…
Hopefully, the Last ‘The Bear’ Isn’t a Comedy’ Joke
Eugene Levy: “The Bear is nominated for 23 Emmys tonight, making it the most-nominated comedy in history. Now, I love the show, and I know some of you will be expecting us to make a joke about whether The Bear is really a comedy — but in the true spirit of The Bear, we will not be making any jokes.”
Shoutout to ‘Hot Ones’
Dan Levy: “The creators of Shogun actually had their scripts translated into Japanese, rewritten and then translated back into English subtitles that you missed because you were also on your phone watching Sabrina Carpenter eat a hot wing.”
Please Keep Those Speeches Short, Folks
Dan Levy: “In what can only be described as a cruel joke, two Canadians have been put in charge of playing you off tonight.”
Eugene Levy: “Canadians don’t like interrupting anybody, it goes against our nature.”
Dan Levy: “Confrontation in general is anxiety-inducing, especially for my 77-year-old father. The man is frailer than he looks, he gets palpitations from time to time. I’m hearing about tendonitis. I don’t want to be alarmist here, but having to cut you off could kill this man.”
The Lorne Michaels Mini-Roast
Kristen Wiig: “We heard that our dear friend, our mentor Lorne Michaels, has been nominated for and lost the Emmy 85 times. He has never won.”
Bowen Yang: “Never. Eighty-five times. It’s just wrong, and we’d like to take the occasion to say a few words to him.”
Wiig: “Lorne, look at me. Look at me. You are worthy, and you are not and have never been a loser, even though you have lost a lot.”
Maya Rudolph: “Lorne, now immediately look at me. Look at me and look at my mouth. Each and every one of those 85 times you lost, you were robbed. Do you hear me? Robbed!”
Yang: “Look at me, Lauren. (Michaels corrected Yang’s pronunciation.) Lorne, look at me. It gets better. Just because SNL didn’t work doesn’t mean your next idea won’t. Keep dreaming.”
Seth Meyers: “Guys, that’s very nice, but Lorne has won 21 Emmys, not to mention that SNL has won over 200.”
Wiig: “That's too much.”
Vindication for Murphy Brown
Candice Bergen: “In one classic moment, my character was attacked by Vice President Dan Quayle when Murphy became pregnant and decided to raise the baby as a single mother. Oh, how far we’ve come. Today, a Republican candidate for vice president would never attack a woman for having kids. So as they say, my work here is done. Meow.”
No Slaps
Will Smith (the one who’s an English comedian and screenwriter): “Relax. Despite my name, I come in peace.”
”This is for all dogs”
John Oliver: “In particular, I want to thank the silly odd dog. We have the most fantastic dog, and she was at our wedding and she got us through the pandemic. She was with us for two pregnancies…” (CUTOFF MUSIC BEGINS) “We had to say goodbye to her. I feel like Sarah McLachlan right now. She was an amazing dog.” (CUTOFF MUSIC GETS LOUDER) “Fuck you! There you go.”
It’s Not TV
Jean Smart, thanking her bosses: “And Casey (Bloys) and Sarah (Aubrey) and everybody at HBO, Max — no, HBO. I'm sorry. Just what we needed, another network."
The One That Got Deleted
After her daughter, Hacks’ Hanna Einbinder, lost the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy to The Bear’s Liza Colón-Zayas, Laraine Newman hopped on Twitter to post, “FUCK. THE. BEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
She took it down later last night. “Not my best moment.”
