‘Saturday Night Live’ Star Objects to Trade Publications Downplaying His Sexiness
Rising Saturday Night Live star Devon Walker will return to the show with an elevated role in the main cast after he spent two years as a featured player and before his high school dedicates a memorial scoreboard in his honor.
Earlier this year, the online Saturday Night Live fandom erupted over a viral video in which a woman claimed that the series had a standing ban on hiring attractive hot girls while still consistently casting highly bangable boy toys like Jimmy Fallon (in her opinion). The debate over the demeaning claims even reached SNL star Sarah Squirm, who sarcastically replied to the thread, “just found out i’m not hot. please give me and my family space to grieve privately and uglily at this time."
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Now, Walker can relate to the plight of his female co-stars — not because internet commenters are questioning his sex appeal, but because the lame-stream entertainment media is trying to hide it from the masses while making him look like his face belongs on a sad plaque hanging in a high school gym:
To be fair to Deadline and any other trade publication that uses the above picture when reporting on Walker’s Saturday Night Live promotion, the un-sexy photo in question is Walker's official Saturday Night Live cast member headshot, and neither the Deadline reporter nor their editor forced Walker to show up for the photo shoot at 30 Rockefeller Plaza wearing a 2006-picture-day-ass long sleeve polo shirt, light-wash, relaxed fit jeans with implied but out-of-frame grass stains and a subtle chain slinked behind his open, popped collar like he just got it for his sweet 16.
No, that was all Walker, and it’s unclear at this time but ostensibly unlikely that the promotion to main cast comes with a new headshot.
So if the media continues to treat Walker like there’s a wreath of flowers framing the pictures they post of him, it’s not some big conspiracy, it’s simply the professional move when reporting on such a revered institution like SNL, and professionalism is a motivation that Walker must understand deep down — after all, he was gonna go pro before the accident.
