5 Scientifically Interesting But Horrendously Painful Fates
We are ridiculously, stupidly easy to end with a bit of bad luck.
It could be caused by something everyone already imagines in a worst-case scenario, like a falling air conditioner. But there’s a true wealth of novel ways for us to kick the bucket. Some of which are strange enough to be fascinating — as long as they’re not happening to you. If that’s the case, you’ll probably be preoccupied with all the screaming and crying and whatnot.
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Here are five very interesting, very painful ways to exit this mortal coil...
Hyperhydration
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If you go by the advice of TikTok, you probably think that you should be drinking as much water as humanly possible. The word “dehydration” sends shivers down a Stanley-toting wellness blogger’s spine. For a seemingly good reason: Water is essential for the human body.
What less people know is that there is a definitive — and fatal — upper limit on how much water you should drink. Take in too much, and let not enough out, and you could be a victim of hyperhydration, also known as the incredibly oxymoronic-sounding water poisoning. This is when you’ve taken in so much water that your kidneys aren't able to process and expel it, and your blood sodium levels become so low that the water starts traveling through cell walls and causing them to swell — including your brain cells, which can be fatal.
Even if you make it, you’ve got a fun time full of nausea, vomiting, cramps, breathing difficulties and headaches.
Secondary Drowning
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Now, drowning itself is not at all a surprising way for water to kill somebody. In fact, it would probably top the Family Feud board. It’s one particular, horrifying twist that makes certain drownings especially horrible, and that’s what known as “secondary drowning.”
You’d think, if someone was in danger of drowning and you got them out of the water and back walking and talking, the bullet was successfully dodged. But they’re actually still in danger of drowning after being out of the water for up to 48 hours. This is because your lungs, irritated by taking in water, start to produce their own fluid, which then causes you to drown.
Oh, and two more things: 1) It doesn’t require a lot of water to happen; and 2) it’s not rare, with 10 to 15 percent of drowning deaths connected to secondary drowning.
Spaghettification
You probably know what a black hole is. You probably also know that, if you get sucked into one, it’s not good. What you might not know is just how physically, horrendously not good it is.
As you approach the black hole, the force of gravity would become greater and greater, to a point where the leading parts of your own body are experiencing a vastly greater pull than the parts further away. Forces great enough to tear your molecules apart, again and again, halving you infinitely like the last office donut. The collection of ripped-apart particles that was, until very recently, you, would then be funneled into the singularity, the infinitely small center of the black hole.
You could think of it sort of like trying to force an entire jar of Play-Doh through a single pinhole, but smaller. Overall? Would not recommend.
The Bends
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Both a cause of death and an excellent album by Radiohead, the first definition of the bends is much less enjoyable. The bends, the nickname for what some very worried doctors would refer to as “decompression sickness” or “generalized barotrauma,” is caused by quick ascension from an extremely high-pressure environment, like the deep sea, to the surface.
While you were underwater, or in a diving bell or similar pressurized environment, you were huffing huge amounts of oxygen and nitrogen. Your body was perfectly happy to use up all that oxygen, but it stored the nitrogen in your blood. If you ascend too quickly, and your body doesn’t have time to rid itself of this nitrogen, the nitrogen takes it upon itself to get out of your blood and tissues in the form of innumerable tiny bubbles.
Basically, if you come up too quick, your entire body becomes a horrible bottle of human seltzer. Unsurprisingly, this can kill you. Just ask the ghosts of the men who built the Brooklyn Bridge, who would travel between the surface and pressurized workspaces daily, without full understanding of the dangers.
Spontaneous Human Combustion
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Sure, we’re starting to dip our toe into pseudoscience, but there’s one fate it’s just too fun not to touch on: spontaneous human combustion. Spontaneous = sudden. Human = you or someone you love. Combustion = exploding. It’s pretty much exactly that — a human suddenly catching fire and turning to ash, something that requires temperatures of 3,000 degrees, without any identifiable ignition source and usually with almost no damage to the surrounding area.
Ask for exact explanations of how this happens, and scientists will happily tell you there aren't any, because it isn't real. Ask for examples of bodies that sure do defy any other explanation, that end up as piles of ash in untouched living rooms? Suddenly, those scientists are quiet and frustrated.
Hey, scientists, at least we’ve started thinking it might be science, instead of assuming the devil yanked them to hell.
