All the Reasons Why Cruise Passengers Hate Cruise Comics
Ray Romano says cruise ships are the worst place to do stand-up comedy. Tom Papa calls them “a dumb idea of a good vacation.” Bill Burr says that if he were dictator of the world and needed to thin the herd, he’d start by randomly sinking cruise ships. Comedians aren’t uniformly aligned on many topics, but they all agree on this: The only thing worse than vacationing on a cruise ship is performing on one.
Well, guess what, smart-ass comics? Turns out cruise passengers hate you too. According to Cruise Passenger, there are several reasons why many floating tourists are sick and tired of jokes on the high seas.
The Jokes Are Too Raunchy
“Some of your comedians think ‘adult’ means all of the material has to be raunchy, vulgar and constantly over the limit,” said cruiser “M” about a trip on Carnival Cruise Lines. “Why do there need to be adult shows? A family cruise line should have family shows only. I had my 20-year-old daughter with us. It was embarrassing to the core. Please provide only family-positioned comedy shows”
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“Mh,” a Cruise Passenger reader, agreed in the comments: “Some comedians think funny is just swearing. So swearing more is even funnier. Even though their routine doesn’t actually have any real comedy in it.”
The All-Ages Shows Are Half-Assed
To clarify, though, “Mh” wants everyone to know that family comedy shows suck just as bad as the adult-themed sets. “One of those comics on my last Carnival cruise was complaining about having to do family shows. And during the family shows, was just continually pausing and dragging for time until winding up early, doing not much at all. It’s telling how bad a comic they were that they even knew they couldn’t do any comedy unless it was swearing.”
Commenter KC concurred that many comics “have little or no ‘family friendly’ material, so their PG shows are vague attempts at crowd work, or veiled attempts to slide adult material under the radar.”
Dopey Parents Bring Kids to Adult Comedy Shows
Passenger Karen (but of course) Medin begged cruisers to stop bringing their kids to adult shows. “Yes, this happened on Mardi Gras in December last year,” she complained. “They sat a couple of rows back just to the right of the comedian. The two very young kids in a group with a large family kept fussing and crying and just ruining the entire flow of the comedian’s act. He tried tactfully to talk to them about being quiet.”
Comics Tell Political Jokes That Offend Liberal and/or Conservative Sensibilities
“I enjoy most of the comics,” said cruise passenger Lori Hunter — at least until they start talking about the news. “When they start with politics, either side bashing, I leave. No other topics bother me as much.”
Hunter believes comedy politics are swaying cruise audiences. “When they try to find humor in current events, people in the audience believe some of what they are saying,” she insisted. “They are not newscasters or research analysts, just an entertainer.”
So who’s more insufferable — cruise comics or cruise comedy audiences? Best to stay on dry land and never find out for yourself.
