The Original Songs in ‘Adam Sandler: Love You,’ Ranked
Adam Sandler is back with a whole show full of fresh tunes. But are any of them worthy of an animated movie adaptation, à la “The Chanukah Song”?
Well, probably not, in no small part because Eight Crazy Nights bombed so hard that The Sandman has exclusively stuck to Halloween for his holiday movies in the decades since. However, Sandler’s newest Netflix stand-up special, Adam Sandler: Love You, is filled with plenty of new ditties to leave audiences laughing and humming even after the credits roll.
The most talked-about tune of Sandler’s last stand-up special, the 2018 show Adam Sandler: 100 Percent Fresh, was, undoubtedly, Sandler’s unexpected memorial anthem for his dearly departed friend and fellow Saturday Night Live legend Chris Farley. Though Sandler again closed Love You with a heartfelt, serious song about comedy legends, this time around, the finale was far from the finest tune Sandler sung that evening, and the #1 hit of Love You is slightly less likely to elicit tears — except maybe from laughter.
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As such, here is my power ranking of all the Love You songs with equal weight given to both comedy/content and catchiness, starting with the evening’s biggest dud…
‘The Depression Song’
One of the shorter numbers of the night, “The Depression Song” is a snoozer in both the music and comedy categories. Sandman mumbles through the tune to a soft piano melody, and the only joke is that he closes a description of a pleasant, mundane day with an admission of mental illness that we might consider a cry for help, if not for the references to “my apartment” and “my landlord” confirming that he’s singing from the point-of-view of a character — Sandler hasn’t rented a damn thing since he was on SNL.
‘Mommy, Why’s the Door Locked?’
The premise of this song is well-tread territory when it comes to stand-up comedy — Sandler sings from the point-of-view of a child who walks in on his parents having sex. The jokes are garden variety for the subject matter and won’t split any sides, but this song still has a leg up over the last place finisher because the vocal modulator and electric guitar at least inject some energy into the tune.
‘My Sister’s New Boyfriend’
Sandler’s song about a family meeting a sister’s male suitor is probably pretty relatable to anyone who has ever met a loved one’s thankfully safe significant other at a family reunion. However, there’s not much more to the tune than a couple major chords and the awkward interruption for a staged technical issue.
‘The Divorce Song’
Easily the least musically interesting song of Love You, Sandler’s short tune about the freedom of a newly divorced man is weighed down by the lame synthesized melody, but the hilarious and too-real punchline at the end of the song (as well as its callback in a different entry) elevate it above the level of forgettability.
‘The Lady With the Fruit Basket’
Sandler's first song of Love You is a short tune that’s plagued by technical problems — supposedly, a visual aid would enhance the punchline, but Windows XP got in the way — but the joke is stupid and silly enough to make it a solid opening number. Any further explanation would spoil the kicker.
‘The Comedy Song’
The closing number of Love You lacks the impact of the Farley song at the end of 100 Percent Fresh, but it’s earnest enough not to leave a bad taste in our mouths once the credits roll. Ultimately, the rock ballad is little more than a seven-minute montage of references to other comedians interspersed with platitudes about the power of comedy, but the gentle swell of power chords evokes shades of Tom Petty, making it a worthwhile listen.
‘Guy With A Drone’
Sandler was lucky to choose the best sport in the audience for the role of borderline bullying target in this tune about a creepy guy who brings a drone to the beach. Complete with the pleasing harmonies of Sandler’s keyboard player flexing his pipes, this song provides both the catchiness and the comedy gold as Sandler hits his audience participant with one banger line after another. Hopefully, Sandler never actually assaulted the agreeable fella with a beach umbrella.
‘She Don’t Need Me Anymore’
This song starts as a heartfelt family commentary dealing with the cruel passage of time as children grow up and grow apart from their parents before taking a sharp left turn into reckless hilarity that deserves to be heard without spoilers. Sandler starts with a kernel of relatable and vulnerable truth, scores it with some sad but hopeful piano play and then launches into grounded yet unhinged territory to big laughs.
‘Scary Shit’
In all of Love You, Sandler never asks more of his live audience than he does during “Scary Shit” when he forces them to make spooky Halloween noises in between lines for over four minutes while he jokes about his mom’s most frightening behavior among other everyday horror stories. Despite being a complete novelty song, something about Sandler pressuring his fans into making Scooby-Doo noises over and over just gets me in a way that only The Sandman can.
‘Every Day I’m Muttering’
If this isn’t Sandler’s all-time greatest dad anthem then he might as well just cancel Grown Ups 3. Sandler’s lamentation about all the chores and tasks put upon him by his freeloading family is sure to be the most relatable song that any father who has had to fish his kid’s toys out of the pool will ever hear, and it’s basically the theme song for the evening — half of Love You is just Sandler muttering.
‘Old Guy With A Kid’
“Are you ready to get funky?” Sandler asks the live audience at Nocturne Theatre in Glendale, California before laying down the absolute grooviest bass line of his entire music career while his keyboard player wails on the ivories like he’s Stevie Wonder. The setup of the song is simple — Sandler observes a person (or a bulldog) in a unique but identifiable situation and then cracks a joke at their expense that splits the sides of the live crowd and the viewers at home.
This is the only song that had Sandler’s audience clapping along, and it easily had the most memorable punchlines of any song of the evening, making it the biggest banger of Love You.
