5 Times Guests Wanted to Fight David Letterman
There’s never been a more pugnacious late-night comedy guy than Dave Letterman, a man who lived for uncomfortable moments. From Paris Hilton to Justin Bieber to Farrah Fawcett, Letterman leaned into uneasiness. That mostly made for hilariously awkward conversations, but occasionally, the conflicts threatened to erupt into full-on fights.
Here are five times it appeared like violence might break out on late-night television…
Crispin Glover
Glover looked like he was about to mix it up with a stagehand when Letterman introduced him, setting the stage for the antics to come. From there, it was hard to tell if Glover was attempting Andy Kaufman-esque performance art or if the young actor was truly disturbed. (Decades later, he refused to reveal whether it was all a put-on.) As Glover melted down on stage, Letterman asked Paul Shaffer if it was the first time he’d watched a man drown. The actor grew more agitated, first flexing his biceps and challenging Letterman to an arm-wrestling contest, then launching a judo kick near the host’s face. That was enough violence for Dave, who walked off the set.
Cher
Cher wasn’t kicking Letterman in the nose, but their confrontation was no less brutal. Dave claimed he’d tried book Cher “at least 81 times,” and once she arrived on the show, he wasted no time getting to the nasty questions (“Why do you have tattoos? You’ve permanently scarred your body. And do you have any second thoughts? Were you drunk when you had them?”).
Cher had no problem firing back. “You’re an asshole.”
Madonna
“Our first guest tonight is one of the biggest stars in the world, and in the past 10 years she has sold over 80 million albums, starred in countless films and slept with some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry,” Letterman said by way of introduction.
“She’s your guest!” protested Shaffer. “Come on, she’s your guest!”
No matter. Madonna was there to duke it out with Letterman, offering him a pair of used panties to sniff, asking if he was wearing a rug and telling him, “Incidentally, you are a sick fuck.” It got worse from there, with the pop icon dropping 14 F-bombs and refusing to leave the set once the interview concluded.
Harvey Pekar
The underground comic artist was a popular guest, at least for a while. But Pekar’s appearances became increasingly volatile, culminating with a 1988 spot when the angry artist grabbed a pen out of Letterman’s hand and accused him of being a cop-out shill for General Electric. The normally cool Letterman told Pekar he was out of line and was no longer welcome at Late Night.
“You're not coming back at all, Harvey, because we’ve given you many, many chances to come on the show to promote your little Mickey Mouse magazine,” he said. “You’ve blown every single chance.”
Years later, however, Pekar would return.
Chuck Norris
On the one hand, Norris and Letterman got along much better than, say, Letterman and Glover. But Norris’ karate kick came much closer to doing damage than Glover’s. In a demonstration of how Norris stages fights for film, the martial arts star threw a foot “about a quarter of an inch” from Letterman’s rib cage, causing Letterman to break into a visible sweat. Even though Letterman seemed rattled by the demonstration, Norris wasn’t done yet, throwing a punch that stopped just short of the talk show host’s chin and sending another kick straight to his heart.
Letterman couldn’t wait to cut to commercial.
