Homer’s Top Business Ideas on ‘The Simpsons’ That Would Have Worked If Homer Wasn’t Running Them
For the last 35 years, Homer Simpson has been coming up with get-rich-quick schemes that quickly fizzle out by the closing credits, but every now and then, he comes close to a real business breakthrough. One of these days, he’ll finally score his three money.
Back when the entire Simpsons canon sat at roughly 400 episodes, series creator Matt Groening claimed that Homer had held 188 different jobs in his time on the show, though he always returned to Sector 7-G down at the nuclear power plant. As such, Mr. Burns’ declaration of “Don’t Forget, You’re Here Forever” that Homer touchingly turned into a tribute to his youngest child is hilariously off-base, considering how Burns’ most dangerous safety inspector is constantly taking sabbaticals to go into space, or to become a heavyweight boxer, or to voice a divisive character on The Itchy & Scratchy Show before dying on his way back to his home planet.
While no alternative occupation has ever prevented Homer from returning to first position when the world resets between episodes, he has come maddeningly close to hitting it big with a novel business idea in many iconic Simpsons episodes before his fortune inevitably slips through his four fingers.
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Here are Homer’s best business ideas that could — or, sometimes, did — make someone other than Homer very, very rich…
The Flaming Homer Moe
Like other entries on this list, the bungling of this business idea isn’t solely Homer's doing. In the Season Three episode “Flaming Moe’s,” Homer’s brilliant, burning cocktail recipe is an immediate success — just not for, y’know, Homer. While Homer never thought to patent his improvised, incendiary, signature drink before letting Moe in on the secret formula, he certainly should have done so before allowing his favorite barkeep to steal the idea on the way to commercial success.
Ultimately, however, Homer and Moe both would have gotten their payday if the former hadn’t spilled the beans while belting from the rafters like a belching, belligerent Phantom of the Opera.
Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic
In a reversal of the previous business burnout, in “Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy,” Abe Simpson is the brilliant alchemist behind a miracle sex drive serum and his neglected, abused son is the ruthless capitalist who resolves to get rich with it — and quick. This time, the partnership proves fruitful until the unearthing of some sordid childhood memories drives a wedge between Simpson & His Son, rather than one of them shouting the secret formula in a crowded room to end the scheme.
Ultimately, however, the most miraculous effect of the revitalizing tonic isn’t its bedroom-spicing capabilities, but the way it allowed one man to address and (temporarily) resolve his daddy issues, a result that all the money in the world can’t produce.
Mr. Plow
As opposed to the preposterously numerous panacea that Homer has either invented or discovered over the course of The Simpsons, the classic titular “scheme” in the Season Four episode “Mr. Plow” shows that all a small business needs to do in order to turn a profit is to fill a need in its community, corner the market by consolidating with the competition and have enough up-front capital to weather the stupidly predictable seasonal trends that temporarily drive down demand. Seriously, before Homer’s plow is repossessed at the end of the episode, he and Barney have everything they need to restart the booming snow removal business at the beginning of next winter, but Homer didn’t factor in the whole “spring” thing into his financial plan when he took out a loan for the plow.
Bear in mind, this is a man who thinks that pumpkin stocks peak in January — seasons aren’t really Homer’s strong suit.
Tomacco
In Homer’s closest call with extravagant wealth during “E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt),” his downfall ultimately came about because, like any great capitalist, he just couldn’t embrace being a multi-millionaire when he thought he could swap that second M for a B. Oh, also, the farm animals liked Homer’s hybrid of tomato and tobacco so much that they were willing to kill an entire helicopter-full of cigarette executives just to get their hooves on the last tomacco plant.
As much as Homer would hate to admit it, Lisa was probably right about this one — it’s hard to spend $150 million safely in a world wherein tomacco-addicted livestock will go airborne just to get their fix.
