Fast Food Items That Have Reached Mythical Status
Fast food isn’t known for its highbrow customer base, which means it can get away with taking more risks than your average bistro. Sometimes, that creative freedom results in strokes of genius, like the Doritos Locos Taco. Other times, they fail so hard that the whole endeavor is seemingly memory-holed, with nothing more than a vague, sepia-toned memory to suggest they ever existed. Until the internet, that is…
The McDonald’s Hula Burger
In 1962, an Ohio McDonald’s franchise was struggling to sell burgers to its largely Catholic customer base during Lent, so its owner proposed a fish sandwich to CEO Ray Kroc. But Kroc had his own beef alternative in mind: a slice of pineapple and cheese on a bun. He proposed a sandwich-off, which was held in just four McDonald’s locations, and was forced to admit defeat when he only sold six “Hula Burgers.” There was no photographic proof of the Hula Burger, only corporate legend, until Simpsons writer Bill Oakley somehow got his hands on photos of future CEO Fred Turner serving some.
Subway Pizza
For the most part, so-called “secret menus” aren’t really secret. Either the restaurant has the ability to make an item or they don’t, so yes, you can make your Starbucks barista blend 19 different syrups together, but you always could, as long as you have no sense of shame. Think about it: Why would restaurants keep ingredients on hand that they don’t use on their advertised menu? Well, ask Subway, because apparently, you can just walk into some of them and ask for a pizza. And get one! It’s only available in select locations, and you’ll never know which one until you ask. Here’s hoping you don’t have a phobia of funny looks.
The Wendy’s SuperBar
The ‘80s were all about the fast-food buffet, according to millennials’ memories, but despite their Bigfoot-like attempts to document it, there’s a vast dearth of evidence that most of them ever existed. Most, that is, except the SuperBar. We have commercials featuring Dave Thomas himself hawking salad, burritos and pasta for $3.99 in 1995. That or someone made a pointlessly specific deepfake.
The McDonald’s Nutella Burger
There was a lot going on in November 2016, but we united as a nation to get grossed out by rumors of McDonald’s producing a Nutella burger. They turned out to be true, but they weren’t as unsavory as we were imagining: The “burger” was meatless, consisting of Nutella spread between two sweet buns in a confectionary imitation of the McDonald’s signature. It was only available in Italy, and really, who are we to judge as far as fast-food audacity goes?
The Taco Bell Beefer
Speaking of burgers that shouldn’t exist, the Bell Beefer looms large in the taco-consuming public’s mind despite no apparent record of advertising. The only proof we have that they existed are photos of menus in the ‘80s and ‘90s, probably because it was known by several different names over the decades. In the ‘60s, it was simply the “Chili Burger,” and in the ‘70s, it was the “Bell Burger.”
In fact, its rebranding seems to have been its downfall, as it disappeared for good in the mid-‘90s, probably because it sounds like what you do after you eat one. (You fart. It sounds like a Taco Bell fart. Don’t act like you don’t get it.)
