Which Sitcom Womanizers Have Aged the Worst?
There’s nothing necessarily wrong with being a sitcom Casanova. Fonzie on Happy Days couldn’t help it that women found him irresistible, and at least in the show’s context, he treated them with respect. Friends’ Joey Tribbiani was a horndog, but being oversexed isn’t the same as being an a-hole. What, though, of the shameless lotharios who bring a sociopathic touch to romance?
Here are the five sitcom womanizers who have aged the worst…
Glenn Quagmire from ‘Family Guy’
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“Want to have unprotected sex?” is a typical pickup line from Quahog’s resident sex creep. Family Guy implies that Quagmire has sired several children out of wedlock and engages in numerous sexual fetishes, including being aroused by unconscious women. But somehow, that’s not even the Quagmire quality that’s aged the worst. That would be his fondness for young women, pouncing as soon as they turn 18.
Being an animated cartoon is the only thing that keeps Quagmire from ranking higher on this list.
Sam Malone from ‘Cheers’
Norm: Sammy, watching you get ready for a date is like watching a great matador prepare for a bullfight.
Cliff: I hate that stuff. You know, who wants to see a guy go and manipulate and torment a poor, unthinking creature like that?
Sam: Hey, I always buy ‘em breakfast, don’t I?
Free breakfast with every boink — what a guy. Sudden Sam’s irresistible appeal isn’t that far removed from Joey and the Fonz, but it’s his lack of shame about any type of sexual tryst that feels itchy. Everyone might know your name at Cheers, but Sam doesn’t need to know yours to take you to bed.
Jeff Winger from ‘Community’
On the surface, Community’s Jeff doesn’t seem quite as off-putting as others on this list. But consider these three things:
- He only joined the study group to seduce Britta.
- Season Five reveals that Jeff keeps the underwear of his sexual conquests — sounds like quite a trophy case.
- And despite turning 40 during that same Season Five, he keeps locking lips with Annie Edison, who was 18 when Community began. That’s all kinds of ick.
Charlie Harper from ‘Two and a Half Men’
It’s one thing for Charlie to be a womanizer — quite another to teach Jake to follow in his footsteps.
What else? Charlie has passed along STDs to multiple partners, makes a point of dumping any woman who’ll sleep with him and had to be talked out of getting busy with an unconscious woman. He almost makes Charlie Sheen look like a good guy.
Barney Stinson from ‘How I Met Your Mother’
It’s a close race between Charlie and Barney, but let’s give Barney the crown for intentionally seeking out the naive, the desperate and the unintelligent — i.e., the most vulnerable — as his sexual conquests.
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A boast that Barney has slept with more than 200 women raised some eyebrows in the 2000s and seems pretty gross today. But other Barney moments are even more cringe, including:
- Trading a woman for a Mercedes
- Taking video and pictures of women he slept with — without their consent — and making an album out of them
- Making out with Ted’s mom
- Constantly thinking of Lily in sexual ways, despite her being married to his good friend
Congrats, Barney — you’re the worst sitcom womanizer of them all.
