14 Somehow Totally Inappropriate Facts About Baseball
The 1908 song “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” is about a young woman telling a suitor she doesn’t care about fancy dates, she just wants to be at a baseball game, screaming at the umpire. Lots of modern couples have taken her wisdom to heart, turning America’s most boring collective hobby into a horny free-for-all.
The First Known Photograph of the Middle Finger
Charles “Old Hoss” Radburn was a 12-season MLB pitcher who, in an 1886 Boston Beaneaters team photo, is seen flipping the bird just over a teammate’s shoulder.
Dodger Stadium’s Vomitorium
Slate’s Neal Pollock wrote a 2007 article about the stadium’s then-new all-you-can-eat seats, which had access to a free food pavilion. Pollock detailed how he and a friend gorged on nachos and hot dogs until they puked.
Blue Jays Fans Caught Boning in the Bleachers
In 2022, a couple was spotted in a mostly-clothed amorous embrace up in the 500s.
A Year Later, the Stadium Earned the Nickname ‘The Sex Dome’
The Blue Jays’ stadium added a built-in hotel, with lots of rooms facing the field. Those double as uber-private luxury boxes which, naturally, are used for some spirited ugly-bumping.
1974’s Infamous 10-Cent Beer Night
Cleveland Municipal Stadium had the bright idea to sell beer for literally one cent per ounce. The night started with flashing and mooning, progressed to trash (and batteries, for some reason) being hurled onto the field, and ended with fans rushing the field and accosting the opposing team.
1979’s Disco Demolition Night
The White Sox ran a promotion one night where folks could forfeit their old disco albums, to be destroyed with explosives on premise, in exchange for reduced admissions. Sports bros hated disco so much, 50,000 drunk fans showed up and started whipping their albums around like frisbees.
Oral in the Bleachers
In 2022, a couple of Oakland A’s fans went viral after getting caught giving and receiving oral, respectively, in broad daylight.
The Seat Has Become a Local Legend
Fans quickly identified the exact seat the oral took place in, and people routinely photograph themselves sitting there with signs like “Don’t blow it,” “Keep your head in the game” and “Play balls.”
1995’s Ball Night
Dodger Stadium gave out souvenir baseballs to all in attendance, which inevitably ended up getting hurled onto the field. In the seventh inning, a few fans mounted a coordinated attack on the opposing team’s outfielder, and in the ninth, over 200 fans hucked their balls toward the ump after a controversial call.
A Cincinnati Couple Was Caught Boning on a Ferris Wheel on Opening Day
On Opening Day 2019, two rowdy exhibitionists got extra frisky in the SkyStar ferris wheel overlooking the field. The manager of the wheel said, “The couple made eye contact and continued doing what they were doing.”
2006’s Cash Drop
A Detroit minor league affiliate, the West Michigan Whitecaps, had a helicopter dump $1,000 in cash onto the field after the game. In a mad rush to stuff overalls full of dollar bills, two children were injured.
‘Rollie Fingers Would Approve’
In 2018, a video of a chilly-fingered man warming his hand deep in the pack of his girlfriend’s pants for at least a full minute went viral on Twitter. One user invoked old-school MLB pitcher Rollie Fingers in their description.
A Week Later, a Couple of Mets Fans Pulled the Exact Same Stunt
Maxim magazine described it as an “epidemic” of PDA.
The Mets Accidentally Tweeted out a Huge Crooked Dildo
To celebrate a big night from T.J. Rivera, the Mets tweeted a picture of Rivera wearing a crown in the locker room. Eagle-eyed superfans noticed a big, twisted schlong sitting in someone’s locker.
