Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Crashes ‘The Daily Show’ to Poop on Undecided Voters
Ahead of tonight’s anxiously awaited presidential debate between Joe Biden and Donald Trump, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog has a clear message for the fence-sitters who may very well swing November’s election: “Shit or get off the lawn.”
It’s almost shocking that, ahead of what may turn out to be the most divisive election in American history (or, perhaps, the least-divisive from here on out), there even exists a room full of eight undecided voters for Triumph to poop on. After all, considering that each candidate already has one term in the Oval Office under their belts, you’d think that the results would speak for themselves and most people would know for sure whether they want the next four years to look more like 2020 or 2024.
Still, it’s a testament to the talent of The Daily Show’s production staff (and to the participants’ ignorance of Triumph’s acerbic style) that, during last night’s episode of The Daily Show, Robert Smigel’s piercing puppet got the chance to gauge the temperature of uncommitted comedic chew toys.
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Though Triumph’s attempts to convince his targets to finally making a decision proved inconclusive, he may very well have advanced the question-asking methodology of professional pollsters and volunteer canvassing campaigns by following up the classic, “Which candidate would you have a beer with?” with the much more telling, “Which candidate would you want to be behind in a human centipede?”
While the voters featured in Triumph’s return to late night seemed to remain undecided over the massive, history-changing choice in front of them by the end of the segment, Triumph’s fans and Daily Show watchers were almost as decisively derisive toward the group as Triumph was. “Being undecided between Biden and Trump is like being undecided between the cold pizza and the cold pizza laced with rat poison,” one commenter wrote under the video.
Another added, “These are the same people who slow down the drive thru. Even though they have looked at the menu for five minutes.”
“This group looks at an orange juice bottle for three hours because it said ‘concentrate’ on the label,” one more aspiring insult comic added, though no such commenters could match the biting wit and the mountain of cigars of the master puppet.
It’s just too bad that neither Biden nor Trump are willing to let Triumph moderate one of their debates. A firm paw and a refusal to let bullshit slide may be just what we need to build a better democracy — for Triumph to poop on.
