7 Actors Who Look More Like Colin Farrell As The Penguin Than Colin Farrell
Ever since Charlize Theron won an Oscar after the filmmakers of Monster searched all of Hollywood and couldn’t find a normal-looking woman, it’s become a perverse badge of honor for actors to transform themselves (usually in a de-hottening way) for a prestigious role. The latest is Colin Farrell, who appeared in The Batman and the upcoming The Penguin looking plump, bald and Face/Offe-d despite hooking up with Britney Spears in 2003.
It’s particularly pointless because there are tons of actors who wouldn’t require six hours of makeup to look like Farrell’s Penguin. Such as…
Robert De Niro
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This is clearly who they wanted, right? Farrell’s Penguin even has a sizable birthmark on his cheek. Sure, De Niro is getting a bit long in the tooth, but Penguin is clearly supposed to be older than Farrell’s relatively spry 48 years, and probably wouldn’t even squint for the paycheck on offer, but that’s when you get…
Elias Koteas
Like, did they even try Koteas? Was he busy? No offense to the esteemed character actor, but he’s a dead ringer for Farrell’s Penguin if the character had simply made some better lifestyle choices. Put some scars on him, and he’s good to go. If they needed a bigger name…
Mickey Rourke
It’s a truth universally acknowledged in Hollywood that if you want a swarthy guy with a fucked-up face, you call Rourke. He’s already done the fucking-up for you. The man has a BAFTA for crying out loud.
Robert Davi
Another textured angel known for playing goons. And this one is actually Italian!
James Gandolfini
Okay, yes, he’s dead. But come on, right? How much would that have ruled?
The Rest of the Cast of The Penguin
Have you seen all the guys they’ve got playing the Falcone crime family? Michael Kelly. Michael Zegen. Scott Cohen. All better choices than Colin Farrell, provided they were going to make Colin Farrell look like that.
Mandy Patinkin
All arguments of “but they needed a big name!” go out the window, in most contexts, when you consider Mandy Patinkin. Inigo Montoya himself is an automatic draw for more than one generation. There’s no question of quality, either — he’s got a Tony, he’s got an Emmy, he can do Shakespeare, and he can do Wonder Pets.
You look us in the eye and tell us you can do better than Mandy Patinkin.
