The 5 Most Ridiculous Things Blamed on Bigfoot
One of America’s most beloved cryptids is the humble Sasquatch. There’s something so relatable about a big, furry creature that wants to be left alone, though there may be some personal bias in there. The fact is, with the prevalence of high-quality cameras, and the surveillance state, the chance of Bigfoot remaining real, yet undiscovered, is pretty low. Which is a bummer in terms of general wonder, but also unfortunate for those looking for a supernatural fall guy for acts they may or may not be responsible for.
To that end, the big-footed beast has often borne the burden of a bevy of accusations. Such as…
Vandalizing A Winnebago
Back in 2012, a man named John Reed claimed Bigfoot had vandalized his trailer. Specifically, his beloved 1973 Winnebago. Reed, who unsurprisingly is the founder of a Bigfoot hunting group with two previous claimed Sasquatch sightings, said that the Bigfoot in question attempted to break the exterior light of his trailer to avoid detection. Now, is there a chance that a Bigfoot decided to go full Splinter Cell and shatter a light to fade into the inky blackness? Followed by, I assume, popping on a pair of Bigfoot-sized NVGs? Maybe, but all signs point to “unlikely.”
Causing A Car Crash
Again involving a vehicle, but this one in motion, a woman from Idaho blamed a car crash on the famed woodland creature. To be clear, it wasn’t Sasquatch themselves she collided with, but a deer — one she claimed Bigfoot had been chasing, who took to the road at a very inopportune time to avoid the cryptid’s clutches. Now, did this woman hit a deer with her car? Undeniably. Could that deer have been chased by a predator? Sure. Is it much more likely that it might be, I don’t know, a bear? Or another animal of which there are many verified specimens of versus a single, legendary folk myth? Yes.
Causing A Car Crash, Again
If you questioned the veracity of the last story, this one makes it seem like a sworn affidavit from a lifelong nun. It’s not the details that are so far-fetched (well, outside of the Bigfoot inclusion), it’s the source — a 17-year-old who crashed his car. There might not be a less reliable source in the entirety of the universe than a teenager who has just crashed a car. I would trust a strange, echoing voice from the swamps over a sweaty 17-year-old next to a dented Mercury Sable and a mailbox. He claimed he saw a Bigfoot, which caused him to slam the gas in a panic and drive into a ditch.
Delaying Construction
Out in the maple-syrup rich territory of Vermont, residents placed a series of construction delays squarely on Bigfoot’s broad, hirsute shoulders. Sasquatch mischief was connected with the ongoing closure of the “Creamery Bridge,” which sure sounds like something pulled from Vermont, Candyland or both. The official statement on the reason for the closed bridge? Deck replacement. Which makes much more sense. Maybe too much sense…
Murdering Three People on a Pot Farm
Okay, this is admittedly a bit of an escalation. Although, that same animalistic strength that lets Sasquatch chase down a deer or snipe a Winnebago light could also be used to put a human to a permanent end. Their kicks, at the very least, would have to pack incredible power. Claims that three men who worked on a marijuana farm in Northern California were murdered with the beast's bare hands would also support this idea. Now, if Bigfoot does indeed exist, and a couple humans did indeed succeed in pissing them the fuck off, I bet they would get mangled. I would be much more likely to believe this, though, if they weren’t working in a famously dangerous profession.
